Tales from Oakbriar Farm

Skin Deep?

2010-06-02T05:31:00.001-05:00

I've lived in this house for over nine years. And I seriously believe I can count on both hands the times I've stepped outside without makeup. I don't mean full on beauty-pageant stuff. I'm just talking a swipe of mascara and lip gloss. Still neurotic, though, right? Not walking to the mailbox until I've taken a quick look in the mirror? Dabbing on "a little something" before I go to the gym or the pool?

But this is important, now, because I'm raising a daughter.

A daughter who watches my every move and imitates my every action. One who often asks if her hair looks pretty "Like Sleeping Beauty's hair?" and begs to wear my lipstick and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE could I curl her hair, just once?

However, here she is with a mother who isn't confident in my own beauty. A mother who sometimes counts my own worth in a number on the scale or how my hair behaves, instead of the paintings I made with Evie at the kitchen table yesterday or the books I read to Ethan very early in the morning or the times my heart throbs with love for my children.

My first instinct, when Evie asks "Do I look like Gabby from Desperate Housewives?" is to tell her just how beautiful she is. That her eyes are radiant and her hair is so pretty when it curls in the back and her little bow lips are the most perfect thing I've ever seen. I want her to know just how beautiful she is.

But I also want her to know how much more there is than looking beautiful. In this culture, we are so bombarded with images of beauty and sex and youth. And the sad thing is, it has soaked into my brain. Being pretty can feel better than being nice.

So how do I teach her that yes, she's beautiful. How do I teach her that, yet teach her not to care? I want her to be confident, but to know other things count more. I want Evie to think it's more important to love like Jesus, to be kind, to share things we have with others who don't have as much, to forgive. I want her to think it's more attractive to be smart and to dream big than to have shiny hair. When she's 20, I want her to be happy to have a healthy body and not just a body that looks good in a bikini.

I want her to BE beautiful, and not just look beautiful.

My own reality is warped, though. I know all the things on the inside count more. I know it. But I also feel so judged by my appearance. How do I teach her to be different?

And so I'm at a new place in my parenting journey. Teaching Evie NOT to be like me. Here's my first venture into "Do as I say, not as I do." I'm going to give it my best shot, and we'll know in about 15 years if I got it right!

Wordless Wednesday - Checking In

2010-05-26T17:28:00.002-05:00

Orahnjaca

2010-03-23T13:52:00.003-05:00

Springtime always makes me think of my grandmother. Grandma Nev had the greenest thumb you would ever meet. She had a veritable forest of potted plants surrounding her house, odd things growing up and down the driveway, and seas of flowers in the backyard. And the most angry I ever remember seeing her was when I pulled up the Clematis vines while pretending to build a fort under her pine tree.

She passed away several years ago, on a cold December day. But December wasn't her time of year - it was spring - and so I especially miss her on sunny days like today.

Since Grandma Nev has been on my mind, I invited my extended family to come over this past weekend for a day of Orahnjaca making. Orahnjaca is a recipe from Old Country, a Croatian nut roll. It's what I think of most when I remember my grandmother's cooking. (Let's just say she wasn't as good at cooking as she was at gardening.) But Orahnjaca is something that she always made well.

This recipe always takes longer than I expect. If you make it, have plenty of snacks and loved ones around to make the waiting fun. And don't stress out about following my directions exactly - my grandmother was not one to follow a recipe, so I think this is pretty fool-proof.

Orahnjaca

Dough Ingredients:
5 Tbsp. warm milk
7 Tbsp. sugar
2 packages yeast
1 c. butter, melted (2 sticks)
5 eggs
2 tsp. salt
5 c. flour

Combine milk and sugar in large bowl. Mix by hand. Add yeast and mix again. In a separate bowl, combine butter and eggs. Add to yeast/milk/sugar mixture. Add salt and mix again. Little by little, add flour. Work with your hands until the dough doesn't stick to the bowl. Cover with a tea towel and let rise until doubled in bulk. This will take about three hours.
Divide dough in half. Work a few times with your hands and roll into a 10X15 inch rectangle on a floured board. Spread with half of nut mixture and roll length-wise. Transfer to ungreased baking sheet. Cover with tea towel and let rise again, for about an hour. When Orahnjaca is ready to bake, the dough will spring back when you touch it with your finger.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Cool, then drizzle with icing.

Nut filling:
1 lb nuts (about 2 c) (We use pecan meal, but the traditional recipe calls for walnuts.)
1 c milk
1 c dark brown sugar
1 stick butter, melted

Add all ingredients together in a medium saucepan. Cook on medium heat until mixture is uniform and not clumpy.

Icing:
Zest from one lemon
2 sticks butter, melted
1 c. powdered sugar
milk (optional)

In a small saucepan, add lemon to melted butter. Add powdered sugar. Stir until smooth. If the icing is too thick to be able to drizzle, add a few teaspoons of milk.

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Time

2010-03-18T10:05:00.000-05:00

Since my first day as a stay at home mom, Evie and I have had a nap routine. We cuddle together in my bed until she falls asleep. For the most part, it's always been a nice time in our day. A few quiet moments together before Evie drifts to dreamland.

But when I was pregnant with Ethan, I started to worry about this routine. First of all, Evie was almost three years old. I knew she should be falling asleep on her own. And how would I manage to keep this up with an infant in the house?

The subject came up once with my doctor. I remember explaining to Dr. Jewell that I still held Evie or snuggled with her until she fell asleep. Instead of a reproachful look, he told me it was okay, that he rocked his kids to sleep until they were well past three. Then he gave me a little pearl of wisdom: Evie is never going to be mad that I helped her fall asleep. She is never going to grow up and say "Mom, you loved me too much."

So I decided then and there to keep our routine. If I needed to change things when Ethan arrived, I would deal with it then.

But I haven't. There has not been even a single day when I couldn't find the time to lay next to Evie under the covers. Lately, though, I have been rushing her. I want her to fall asleep quickly because Ethan could wake up any minute and need me. I want her to fall asleep quickly because I use the time when both of my children are sleeping to return phone calls, to empty the dishwasher, to catch up on Desperate Housewives while I fold a load of laundry.

Because of this, our routine hasn't been very nice lately. I save minutes by refusing to sing to her. I cut corners and don't tell a story or read from the journal I kept when she was a baby. I growl at her to be still, to close her eyes, to stop talking. And as soon as she falls asleep, I sneak out.

But yesterday, the thought occurred to me that I was changing what used to be one of the best parts of our day. I thought about wanting a baby with all my heart, and not being able to have one. At that time, I would have given anything to be in bed with my daughter, whispering the story of how Daddy proposed or laughing when she randomly said "My hands look a lot like dog hands."

Yesterday, I put my face close to hers. I smelled her hair, her strawberry-shampoo-girly-scent. When she rolled over, I kissed her little back. I put my arm around her until I felt her breathing become even and slow. Still, I stayed with her. I watched her long eyelashes flutter in her sleep.

And I thanked God for her, for this time with her.

I am going to do my best not to wish these days away. I won't wish for the day she can fall asleep on her own. I won't wish for the day when I'm not slowed down by buckling two kids into their car seats. I won't wish for the day I'm not picking up Barbies and Crayons and blocks from the floor. I won't wish for the day when Ethan can drink milk from a sippy cup or go on the potty. I won't wish for the day Evie can brush her own hair.

I will savor these days, because I already know they don't last. But I will enjoy them for as long as I can.

Disney on Ice - Let's Celebrate!

2010-03-12T18:47:00.004-06:00

So, we see a lot of Disney shows. I was fortunate enough to be invited to participate in a program from Mom Central and Feld Entertainment, and my family has received many a free ticket.

This week, we went to the Let's Celebrate show here in St. Louis. And it is by far the best live Disney show I've seen.

Not only did we celebrate unbirthdays with Alice in Wonderland...
Not only did we celebrate Christmas and Valentine's day...
Not only did we see every.single.Princess, even the newest Princess Tiana...
Not only did we see Buzz and Jessie and Woody...
And Tinkerbell was there...

But we also celebrated Halloween with Jack Skellington and all the Disney villans! That one act had to be my favorite by far. The music was great, the skating was great, the action was great. And how often do you get to see all those villans together? Cruella DeVille, Jafar, the Evil Queen and witch from Snow White, Captain Hook, and plenty of goblins made for a very fun scene.

Of course, Evie's face lit up at the sight of the Princesses. That had to be the best moment of the night, just watching her face, mouth in an "O." She danced and clapped and sang along. Just perfect - BURST!

You can still purchase tickets to Let's Celebrate for this weekend's performances. Click here, and use coupon code MOM in the MC Promotion box to get four tickets for $44.

Inspiration

2010-03-08T16:29:00.005-06:00

I haven't been inspired to write lately. Which is odd, since I have two of the most precious little inspirations living right under my roof.

I am a very happy person. Even in the midst of a struggle, I can look around and see the blessings in my life. I get these little bursts of joy every single day, sometimes from small ordinary things. It could be the glint of light on my wedding ring, Evie's smile, the first shoot of a crocus poking out of the earth, or a song on the radio. But my heart swells and the world feels right and I know just how lucky I am to be living this life. My wonderful life.

For several weeks in February, though, those little bursts were missing. It's not that I was unhappy. But I was just going through the motions of my life, watching it happen in front of me. I wasn't participating.

This had never happened to me before. Where was my joy? How could I get it back?

So I started working out again. It made me feel better about myself and gave me some alone time. I sometimes sit and talk with friends and have a cup of coffee afterward. But no bursts of joy. I got a new haircut. No burst. I prayed about it, asking God to make me aware of the blessings that surround me, to make me feel them in my heart. Still not a single burst. I tried to talk to Chris about it once, laying in the dark. He didn't understand what I was trying to say, and the conversation quickly became an argument. Definitely no burst there.

And just when I started thinking I should talk to my doctor about postpartum depression, the sun came out. Literally.

Early last week, a little bit of springtime crept into St. Louis. The breezes blew just a tiny bit warmer and I felt the sun on my face. I don't know if it was really the long Midwestern winter or my hormones, but I finally feel like myself again. Everywhere I look, I find inspiration and joy.

Yesterday, I was patting Ethan's back, trying to get him to fall asleep for his afternoon nap. He craned his neck over to look at my face. And he laughed. He couldn't stop - it was one of those silly, tired laughs. It made me laugh, and then Evie joined in. Burst!

Last week we went for a walk in the sun with one of our neighbors. Then Evie and the girls drew chalk pictures on the driveway. Such bright colors, such bright faces full of smiles. Burst!

When I change Ethan's poopy diapers, he laughs. It distracts me from the fact that I'm changing a poopy diaper, and makes me laugh, too. Burst!

The other day, Evie ran into the living room with a mini Sleeping Beauty doll. She asked "Is this the future?" I was baffled. She explained that she had finally put Sleeping Beauty's pink dress on by herself. And then I remembered telling her not to give up, that if she kept trying, she would be able to put the dress on all by herself, one day in the future. Burst!

I was on the computer in the kitchen yesterday, and I glanced into the living room. Ethan was sitting in a chair, and Evie had climbed up next to him. She had her arm around him and was reading him an Easter book. Burst! Burst! Burst!

Evie was making cupcakes in her play kitchen the other day, and she was so excited about adding extra shredded cheese to the cupcakes. She even made sure to add some on top. Burst!

A few nights ago, we were saying our prayers before bed. And Evie said "Jesus, please help me sleep through the night, so I don't get into trouble from Mommy." Burst!

Right now, my mom and Evie are playing with pop beads at the kitchen table. I'm listening to their conversation and their laughs. Burst!

So I'm inspired again. Inspired and loving this life. Burst! Burst! Burst!

Wordless Wednesday - Dressing Up

2010-02-10T16:27:00.003-06:00

Disney Live! Rockin' Road Show

2010-02-09T14:12:00.005-06:00

After you've seen a couple snowfalls, after Christmas has come and gone, after you've exhausted just about every indoor activity you can think of, winter kind of stinks.

I'm feeling like I've been stuck inside for far too long.

Which is why I'm so excited to be taking my family OUT! Next weekend, we're going to the Disney Live! Rockin' Road Show. As part of the audience, we'll help Mickey in his talent search to find the coolest acts around. We're planning to sing, dance, and bounce around during this show! And we won't be alone - Minnie, Donald, Goofy, Buzz, Woody, Tigger, and Cinderella will be there, too!

Feld Entertainment has provided the tickets for my family. In addition, they've provided a 4-pack of tickets to the Saturday, February 20th (6:30 PM) show for me to give away! To enter, just leave a comment on this post about what you do to beat the winter blahs. You must comment before 5:00 PM on Thursday, February 11th. Also, be sure to leave me your email address. I'll choose a random winner Thursday night and post their name on Friday.

If you don't win, you can still get a discount on tickets you purchase! Use the code MBLOG to receive your tickets for $18 - a savings of up to $13! (Additional service charges, facility, and handling fees still apply.)

Performances are at Chaifetz Arena at the following dates and times:
Saturday, February 20th - 12:30, 3:30 & 6:30 PM
Sunday, February 21st - 1:00 PM

I hope to see you there!

Wordless Wednesday - His Smile

2010-02-03T07:12:00.002-06:00

Hot Wing Dip

2010-02-02T13:41:00.003-06:00

Once upon a time, I didn't care about the Super Bowl. Sure, it was a time to eat too much junk food and have a few drinks with friends. But I would have rather watched something else.

Then I got a job at Anheuser-Busch. And because my department was part of Marketing Research, I worked on Super Bowl Sunday. All night, in fact, until the sun rose Monday morning. There was food, and beer if I recall, and the game playing on the projection screen in the conference room. It had the makings of a party, but it was no doubt work. After the game ended, we spent the rest of the night compiling consumer feedback on our ads. It was always exciting, our night to shine. But I missed watching the Big Game with my friends and family.

So I no longer take Super Bowl gatherings for granted. I love crowding around the television, rooting for my team. I love the trash talk. I love giggling whenever they say "tight end." Of course, my favorite part is still the commercials.

And here is a dip worthy of any party this Sunday.

Hot Wing Dip
2 lb. boneless chicken breasts, cooked and shredded
12 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/2 c. ranch dressing
1 c. Frank's Hot Sauce
16 oz. shredded cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix all ingredients together and bake for 20 minutes. Serve with celery and tortilla chips.

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Sowing the Seeds of Love - Day 1

2010-02-01T15:23:00.004-06:00

With Valentine's Day less than two weeks away, we're starting to get crafty. Evie and I have lots of fun things planned - heart wreaths and garlands, a Valentine mouse, sun catchers, tissue paper hearts, and marble painting. But we kicked things off yesterday with something we've never tried before... growing grass.

It's simple. First, we cut a heart shape from a sponge. We moistened the sponge and sprinkled it with grass seeds. Then came the best part for Evie - gently spritzing the seeds with water from her spray bottle. Finally, we covered the sponge with plastic wrap, just until the seeds sprout.

We'll spray the seeds with a bit of water each day, and practice patience, waiting for the grass to grow. By Valentine's Day, Evie will have a grassy heart she can "mow" with scissors! We can't wait to share the results with you in a few weeks!

Beauty in the Ordinary

2010-01-28T08:47:00.005-06:00

I live very ordinary days. There isn't much sophistication in my life right now. I cook meals, clean the house, change diapers, play with my children. But even though my days aren't filled with glamor, they are full of beauty.

Yesterday I looked out the kitchen window and watched as huge, fluffy flakes of snow fell. The air was full of feathery bits, and it was a wonder to behold.

Sometimes when I feed Ethan in the dim light late at night, his chubby fingers reach for my face. During our afternoon dance parties with Evie, he lets out peals of laughter. When I wash dishes, I often put him in the bouncy seat on the kitchen counter where he coos to me, little conversations. Such sweetness is in that tiny voice.

Evie has the biggest smile you will ever see. It brings out her hidden dimple, lights up her face. She is full of music, constantly singing under her breath. She surrounds herself with pretty things - things that are pink and shiny. Things that sparkle, like her. And her voice saying "I love you, Mommy," has to be one of the most beautiful things on this Earth.

Tuesday, when Evie woke up from her nap, she said "It smells beautiful in here." It did; her favorite pot roast was simmering away, filling our house with savory smells.

There is beauty in answered prayers from my loving God. And sometimes, there is even beauty in the unanswered prayers.

There is beauty in my milky coffee with hazelnut syrup. In a gleaming floor I just mopped myself. In a shaft of sunlight falling on the carpet. In a watercolor picture from my daughter. In a phone conversation with my sister. In a look from my husband. In a bead of sweat from a good workout. In sharing laughter with friends. In my mother, waiting to hear her PET scan is clean. In the still quiet of nap time.

Especially in winter, the gray can take over. Sometimes, you just have to look closely at your life to see the beauty. And oh, I live a beautiful life.

Wordless Wednesday - The Princess' Birthday Party

2010-01-27T07:26:00.002-06:00

Three Years

2010-01-26T19:00:00.003-06:00

Sweet Evie,

You are three years old. Three. Years. Old.

And you are simply amazing, my sweet girl.

Right now, you are behind me at the kitchen table. You're coloring and singing a Taylor Swift song. It still surprises me how independent you are. Most of the time when you want something now, you get it for yourself. You choose clothes, and bring them to me to help you get dressed. Sometimes you come out of your room, already wearing your outfit for the day - shoes and all! You get your own lip gloss, your own coloring books, your own toys. And I've stepped out of the shower to find you at the kitchen table, eating lollipops you took from the pantry on your own.

Whatever Daddy and I are doing is what you want to be doing. You love to type on the computer and send email. You make lists all the time - To Do lists and grocery lists. You breastfeed your baby dolls, then you burp them and change their diapers. You help Daddy chop veggies for dinner and you help me cook. You try to pay at restaurants with your pretend credit card. You vacuum and dust and wash dishes. Your purse is next to mine on the counter, and your baby bag is lined up next to Ethan's. Yesterday, I saw you holding your baby in a sling, patting the doll on the bottom and swaying from side to side. You were my mirror image, and it made me laugh.

You love your little brother. I like it when you drag your step stool into his room and put it next to his crib. You stand on it and talk to Ethan if he's fussing. And it almost always makes him stop. He watches you and smiles. You tell him things all day - "Ethan, this is my baby's bottle." or "Ethan, look at my gum!" or "Ethan, we're going to the dentist!" You're a constant narrator of our actions.

And you never, ever stop talking. Mostly, it's cute and funny. Occasionally, it's purely maddening. You talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Then you talk, talk, talk some more. You tell me things you see, things you think, things you remember. Your memory, seriously, is better than mine. You have a mind for details.

You still like to play games. In addition to our tried-and-true games, you like I Spy and Sequence for Kids. But most of all, you are addicted to the Wii. Several evenings a week, you and Daddy disappear downstairs to play video games. When I describe things you like to other people - art, dressing up, singing - you always chime in "And I like to play the Wii!"

Your favorite foods are Ramen Noodles, rice, butter bread, and pot roast. Your favorite treat is bubble gum. You love fruit and vegetables of any kind. You have discriminating tastes for a pre-schooler - your favorite restaurants are Macaroni Grill and Hacienda. You must be eating well, too, because you finally made it into the 10th percentile for your weight!

You began taking gymnastics a few weeks ago. This is the first class you've taken where I don't participate with you. After class, you describe what you did, and you often demonstrate for me. And you'll excitedly tell me your plans for next week, "Next week we're going to do tumbling, and maybe the balance beam!"

You love reading books of any kind. Sometimes you look at the pictures on your own and try to come up with the story. Sometimes you "read" a book you've memorized. But our very favorite is when you curl into the bend of my arm, and I read you stories before bed. It's such a cuddly and special time for the both of us.

I remember when you were growing in my womb, imagining what you would be like. And you are better than anything I ever dreamed. You are sweet and funny. You are kind and sassy. You are tiny and smart. You are generous of heart. You are beautiful.

And you are mine. My first miracle baby, growing up right in front of me. I don't want to miss a single second.

I love you forever.

Love,
Mommy

Dear Mattel

2010-01-17T17:06:00.003-06:00

To Whom it May Concern at the Barbie Factory:

Please stop manufacturing clothes for Barbie that can be removed in less than a minute by a two-year-old, yet take a thirty-three-year-old woman ten minutes to put back on. You are wasting my life. Unless you think it's fun to have a naked doll party in your living room every. single. day.

And, for God's sake, just paint the shoes on!

Sincerely,
Evie's Frazzled Mom

Asian Pears

2010-01-14T18:21:00.001-06:00

Monday, we were driving in the car when we passed the dreaded McDonald's.

Evie: Can we please stop and get some apple dippers?
Me: No, we already passed it. Besides, we have some yummy Asian pears at home.
Evie: Are you going to eat one, Mommy?
Me: Yes. I love Asian pears.
Evie: But, you're not Asian!

Wordless Wednesday - Friends

2010-01-13T19:12:00.002-06:00

Mexican Coffee

2010-01-12T08:07:00.003-06:00

This cold and miserable weather has me wishing for the beach lately. When I look out the window at the gray expanse of, well, everything, I pine for the sun and the sand. So I pop in my new Kenny Chesney CD and play one of his "beachy" songs. I sing along while I'm doing the dishes. And I dream I'm in Mexico.

I love the beach. I love the warmth of the sun on my skin. I love the powdery sand underfoot. I love the sound of the waves. At the beach, I don't even mind the freckles on my nose. I love how the salty air makes my hair wavy and wild. I love having nothing to do but sit by the pool and soak up the day. Maybe read a book. Maybe nap in a hammock. Maybe just watch the ocean.

At the last resort we visited, they made the best Mexican Coffee. On cold days like this, it's a perfect way to reminisce...

Mexican Coffee
3/4 c. coffee beans, ground
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
6 c. water
1 c. milk
1/3 c. chocolate syrup
2 Tbsp. light brown sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Place coffee and cinnamon in filter basket of coffee maker. Add water and brew as directed. In a saucepan blend milk, chocolate syrup, and brown sugar. Stir over low hear until the sugar dissolves. Combine milk mixture and brewed coffee. Stir in vanilla.

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Let Me Count the Ways

2010-01-11T14:23:00.003-06:00

My dear husband,

With a new baby and a very active preschooler in our home, romance is sometimes put on the back burner. I focus my attention on Ethan and Evie and their needs. And then on things like dinner and washing bottles and going to the gym. And then on sleeping. And then, finally, you get the time that's left over. Which is very, very minimal.

So today I want to remind you about all the reasons I am in love with you. I want to remind you about why I chose you "until death do us part." Because there is not a better partner for me on the entire Earth.

I love that you are a Christian. When all is said and done, that's really one of the most important things I can count. Saturday night at church, I was so happy watching you talk to Evie about how we will incorporate daily faith-building into our lives. And I know we will. You make sure we say prayers at dinnertime and you talk about Jesus. Out of all the reasons I love you, Honey, this one is for Eternity.

I love the father you have become. Remember how scared we were when Evie was first born? From the Daddy-Daughter Dance to what seems like millions of diapers, from breastfeeding to dining out in restaurants, from The Backyardigans to Word World to Yo Gabba Gabba, from turtles to Princesses, you were there in the trenches with me. I love that you scold me for buying too much for Evie, and yet you always come home with a treat for her. And now we have our beautiful Ethan, whose smile is just starting to light our lives. I look at you holding him, your mirror image, and my heart melts.

I love that you help with household chores. I haven't done a single load of laundry in almost ten years. I've never mowed the lawn or raked leaves and grass clippings. I don't know how to use the weed whipper. Since Ethan has been born, I've only been to the grocery store once, and that's because I wanted out of the house! I don't take the trash to the curb or haul the empty cans back up. I rarely even have to put gasoline in my car.

I love your scientific, rational mind (most of the time!) You think things through clearly. You do your research. And then you research some more. You're a good match for my emotional decision-making tendencies. Between the two of us, we make a normal person. But I love that you can also let go and be silly. Whether it's making funny faces, threatening to dress up as DJ Lance, or imitating me, you can always make me laugh.

I love that you are a good provider. I don't know many husbands who are willing to make the sacrifices you've made so I can be home with our children. It means the world to me.

I love that you've always been there for me during hard times. When I hated my job, when I fought with my roommate, when we tried and tried and tried to have a baby - both times. Somehow, when things are difficult for me, you know how to cheer me on. I know I will survive because you're by my side.

I love you for all the million little things you do to show me you care. You warm up the Bed Buddy and put it by my feet each night. You hold branches back when we take walks. You give me your arm when it's icy out. You spent tens of hours on complicated painting techniques for both nurseries - not for our kids, but for me. You kept my cat for seven years, even though he gave you asthma. And you changed his litter box. You chop veggies for me when I cook. And I will never, ever forget when you jumped in front of that firework so I didn't get hit.

I love your kisses. The sweet little kisses and the big passionate kisses. I love that you sometimes wrap your arms around me in your sleep. I love being cuddled next to you. I love holding your hand in the car.

I love that you let me be exactly who I am. I am more myself when I am with you than when I am alone. You center me, you ground me.

I can't imagine going through this life without you.

Love,
Sarah

Smile

2010-01-08T14:22:00.004-06:00

Motherhood is hard. Motherhood is wonderful. It's both, all at once.

When I was pregnant with Evie, I imagined holding her while she was sleeping. And kissing her sweet head. And tickling her fat little toes. I imagined hearing coos and whispering songs in her ear and contentedly rocking her in the dead of night.

And those things happened. Those were blissful moments, to be sure.

But I didn't imagine how I would handle a baby in the backseat of the car, screaming her pretty little head off. I didn't consider what it would be like to try to coax her back to sleep for hours at 2 AM. I had no idea how hard it would be to get poop stains out of her clothes after she'd been on antibiotics for a week. And don't get me started on the balancing act of keeping up with dishes and vacuuming and taking a shower and working and commuting and still finding time to mother her.

So I was much more prepared for Ethan's arrival. I knew what I was getting myself into. I was prepared for all the pitfalls. All the bumps in the road. All the exhaustion and mundane routine of the first months and years. I was terrified.

Other than that first week in the NICU, though, he's been an easy baby. He's sweet and fat and sleepy most of the time. My fears have been largely unfounded. Evie loves him, wants to be near him, talks to him, sings to him, wakes him up just to try and play, "shares" her lip gloss with him.

Oh, does he have my heart! When someone else is holding him, Ethan looks around for me. I can see his little eyes searching me out. He puts his head on my shoulder and curls his legs in and sleeps. He coos sweet nothings to me.

And he has the best smile. The worst day could be cured by his gummy grin. I don't even have to do anything to earn this reward - he just looks at me. In the morning, in the afternoon, at dinner, in the middle of the night... He only looks at me and breaks into a wide smile. His face brightens and his dimple appears.

These smiles from my children - Evie's over-the-top, head-tilted, laughing smile and Ethan's toothless, bright grin - are all the payment I'll ever need for this job with the title of "Mother."

I Hope You're All Happy

2010-01-06T11:42:00.003-06:00

So when Evie asked for Ramen Noodles at breakfast this morning, I made them for her. She should thank the blog world for her change in fortune.

And now that the holidays are over, and we're healing from the loss of my dad, expect to hear from me more often. I've missed you all.

Cute as a Bug

2010-01-01T08:27:00.002-06:00

Chris: Evie, how did you get so cute?
Evie: From Mommy.
Chris: Just Mommy?
Evie: Yes, just from Mommy.

I love this girl...

My Dad

2009-12-24T14:33:00.003-06:00

He gave me my bright blue eyes.
And my dark hair.

Once we went to a Father/Daughter dance.
I was upset when everyone said "You would look just like your dad if you grew a mustache."

He taught me to love music.
And books.

When I was in third grade, he showed me how to do algebra.
He made me feel smart.

He talked more than anyone I know.
Even more than me.

He made the worst hamburgers, but the best Chinese food.
I still love Chinese.

He let me get that cat.
But he chose the name. The dumbest name ever - TC for The Cat.

He surprised me and came to my fifth grade talent show.
I felt special.

I made fun of him when he said "I'm fixin' to..." or "I'll give you a holler..."
He laughed.

He made a lot of mistakes.
But he owned up to them later on.

And after I had my own children, he told great stories of when I was a child.
And he gave great advice - "Don't forget these days. They're the best."

He visited a few weeks ago to meet Ethan and see Evie.
He read to Evie and carried her. He tickled her and sang silly songs.
She loved the attention from her Poppa.

When he left to go home, he promised to read her books on the webcam.
But we ran out of time.

Last night, my dad passed away.
And I'm in disbelief. I'm numb.

But trying to remember.
My dad.

Wordless Wednesday - O Christmas Tree

2009-12-23T03:12:00.000-06:00

The Spirit of the Season

2009-12-22T09:01:00.004-06:00

I'm finally feeling the Christmas spirit. This year, it took a little longer than normal, but I'm there now. This past weekend, we finally decorated the tree that's been up for two weeks. The presents are wrapped and ribboned. I'm blaring Christmas music in the kitchen, singing in the car. We're taking drives just to see the lights in the neighborhood.

And I'm thinking of my Savior.

With a new baby in the house, I am focused even more on Baby Jesus - "born a child, yet a King." Usually, it's grown-up Jesus that comes to my mind. Even during the Christmas season, I'm focused on what Jesus ultimately did for me, and not how He came.

But every time I hear the Christmas Story this year, I glance over at Ethan. I see his tiny body, his soft skin. He's vulnerable - not strong. And this is how God chose to come down and dwell among us. As a baby.

For me, that's a miracle in itself. God didn't come as a prince in a palace, or as someone famous. He didn't have servants and bodyguards. Jesus began life just as we do. He wasn't even born in a hospital. He felt cold and hunger and pain, just as we do. He depended on a mother to care for him when he was an infant, just as we do. Because He became a child, just like us, He knows what our life is truly like.

That gives me shivers, knowing that by becoming human, God understands me. Jesus reconciled me to God. He began this reconciliation as a baby, and ended by suffering in my place.

And so this Christmas season, I celebrate Baby Jesus. I celebrate this Baby's long-awaited arrival. God in flesh, living still with us. "Glory to the newborn King..."

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus
Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find out rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a child and yet a King,
Born to reign in us forever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all sufficient merit,
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.

Talkin' with My Girl

2009-12-18T08:27:00.004-06:00

Evie: Here are the directions I wrote to Heaven, where Jesus lives.
Me: Oh, good! But we won't be going to Heaven for a long time.
Evie: (Handing me my cell phone) But don't forget your phone when we go.
Me: Honey, we won't need phones in Heaven.
Evie: They already have a phone?
Me: (A little exasperated) Yes, they have a phone already.
Evie: When it rings, I will run run run to answer it!

-----

Me: Evie, what do you want for breakfast?
Evie: Ramen Noodles.
Me: You can't have Ramen Noodles for breakfast, they're lunch food. What do you want for breakfast?
Evie: (Pausing a few seconds.) Is it okay if we just call this lunch?

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

2009-12-16T12:40:00.004-06:00

Wordless Wednesday - The Announcement

2009-12-09T08:38:00.001-06:00

Potato Soup

2009-12-08T09:45:00.002-06:00

At my first job, way back when, a girl named Chris sat in the cubicle next to me. Chris is sweet and wacky and smart and funny and cute. She helped me though bad bosses and bad roommates and dating and wedding planning. You know how there are people in your life who you lose touch with, but still consider friends? Chris is one of those people for me...

Anyway, I don't even remember why, but there was a time when we were trying to make the perfect potato soup. This was before AllRecipes.com, when I only had dial-up internet at home. (Boy, I feel old now!) So we used to ask other people for their hints. Someone told Chris to use sour cream in the soup, which tasted good, but curdled. Someone told me to use ham in the soup, which was too chunky. And eventually we gave up and considered our recipe "good enough."

But it wasn't really good enough to make regularly. You know, because of the curdled sour cream and the chunky ham!

About six months ago, I found this recipe. It's for the crock pot, and I made it like that a few times. Then I figured out it's just as easy (and faster) to make on the stove, so I modified it a tiny bit. And it is simple, but the best thing to fill your belly on a cold night. I've thought of Chris every time I make it.

So, here is finally the perfect potato soup recipe...

Potato Soup
5 lbs potatoes, peeled and diced into 2-inch chunks
1 small onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp seasoned salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 quarts chicken broth
2 (8 oz) packages cream cheese
crumbled bacon (optional)

Add potatoes, onion, garlic, seasonings, and broth to large stockpot. (If you're like me, and think extra garlic makes anything taste better, resist! It's perfect with 4 cloves.) Bring to a boil, cover, and cook for about an hour, until potatoes are tender.

Remove lid. Using a stick blender or potato masher, blend the soup until smooth.

Break the cream cheese into chunks and add to soup. Turn heat to low and cook about 20 minutes, until cream cheese is mostly melted into the soup. Run the blender through the soup again, just to make sure any cream cheese chunks are incorporated.

I don't think this needs the bacon garnish. (I'm trying to lose this pregnancy weight.) If you want it, just crumble it on top before serving.

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Night

2009-12-07T09:37:00.001-06:00

I've never been a good sleeper. I lay my head on the pillow, and instead of drifting to dreamland, my brain clicks "on." I worry, I write blog posts in my head, I make To Do lists, I redecorate the house. So when I finally fall asleep, I want to stay sleeping! Because I repeat the whole cycle again if I wake up.

But I don't mind getting up with Ethan at night.

Oh, he's just the sweetest thing ever. And he's all mine at night.

During the day, there is so much going on. The radio is on, or the television is on. Evie is running around, or dancing, or singing, or asking for my help. The doorbell rings, or the phone rings.

At night, it's quiet. The light is dim. It's just the two of us. I hold his warm body in my arms while I feed him. In the soft light, he looks like a little angel. I kiss his head and stroke his cheek.

When I was up with Evie in the night, I used to pray for other mothers who were up with their children. But I sometimes forget to pray when I'm up with Ethan. He steals all my attention, all my love, all my heart - there in the dark.

Just Average

2009-12-03T19:15:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was Ethan's one-month check up with his pediatrician.

He is 21 inches long.
He weighs 9 pounds, 5 ounces.

Guess what percentile 9 pounds, 5 ounces is? The 48th percentile.

Yep, that's me doing a little dance. I finally have a "normal" sized child!

I love Evie - her big personality in her tiny little body. But I'm happy Ethan is average. No weight checks are scheduled in our future. I won't cry at the doctor's office if he loses an ounce. I won't butter everything he eats or insist he eats his ice cream before his carrots.

Just average is just great...

Pot Roast

2009-12-01T18:11:00.002-06:00

I'm back! Did you miss me?

We're adjusting to life as new parents, again. Ethan is the sweetest little baby, and Evie is the best big sister. Seriously, she's doing even better than we thought she would.

And, despite being sleep-deprived, I'm even up to cooking a meal now and then. Nothing gourmet, to be sure, but at least I'm back in the kitchen! Tonight I made a very easy pot roast, to rave reviews. Even my almost-vegetarian daughter ate the meat! It also makes it's own yummy gravy while cooking, which is my favorite part...

Slow Cooker Pot Roast
2 Tbsp butter
1/4 c flour
salt, pepper, and garlic powder (for seasoning)
2-3 lb pot roast
2 (10.75 oz) cans cream of mushroom soup
1 (1 oz) package dry onion soup mix
1 1/4 c beef broth
1 lb baby carrots
3 onions, quartered
4 large potatoes, quartered

Melt butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Sprinkle roast with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and flour. Brown all sides of meat.

In slow cooker, mix mushroom soup, onion soup mix and beef broth. Place pot roast in slow cooker and coat with soup mixture. Add carrots, onions and potatoes.

Cook on High for 3-4 hours, or Low for 8-9 hours.

Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday - Smooch

2009-11-25T16:48:00.001-06:00

Tums

2009-11-20T00:01:00.002-06:00

When I was pregnant with Ethan, I had a lot of heartburn. It's the most annoying thing to have heartburn after you eat a bowl of cereal or an apple. But I had it, and I took a lot of Tums.

Evie is obsessed with Tums now. I even took an empty container and filled it with candy Spree, so she would be able to "pretend" to have heartburn. (I know, we are just crazy in this house!)

It's still not enough. She wants the real thing, and will do just about anything to get it.

Evie: I can't wait to get married.
Me: Really? That's a long time away.
Evie: But then I will be able to reach the Tums when I need them.

Evie: When I have a baby, I'm not going to the hospital.
Me: Oh, no?
Evie: No. I will just stay home and take some Tums.

If only we could solve our problems with antacids, the world would be a much easier place...

Wordless Wednesday - Little Feet

2009-11-18T10:18:00.003-06:00

Wordless Wednesday - Siblings

2009-11-11T09:10:00.002-06:00

Off Course

2009-11-10T16:33:00.002-06:00

So what have I been doing the past few days since we returned home? Besides cuddling and cooing and not sleeping? Well, I've been trying to breastfeed.

And, oh, I've been having the hardest time!

I remember rough patches with Evie. Waiting for my milk to come in, trying to get her to wake up for feedings, the whole milk/soy thing... But the relationship we had during our nursing sessions made it all worthwhile. I loved the whole thing, and breastfed her for 20 months. It's an accomplishment I'm still very proud of.

Ethan is a different story, though. Just hours after he was born, he was in the NICU with jaundice. It was important to get him eating right away, to rid his body of bilirubin. So I agreed to supplement his feedings with formula. And he drank a LOT of formula! The nurses were all impressed with his appetite, and everyone was happy when he started getting better.

But all the bottles have caused me problems. I can't get him to latch on. I worked with a lactation consultant at the hospital, and she gave me lots of tips. I was so enthusiastic at first, but after so many days of Ethan refusing to nurse, after days of trying everything I could think of, of calls to several lactation consultants, of pumping around the clock to protect my milk supply, of more tears than you can imagine, after nipple shields and dripping syringes of breastmilk, and countless pleads to Ethan to JUST LATCH ON, I am done.

It makes me so sad. This is never something I even considered. Bottle feeding just wasn't in my plans at all. However, here I am.

Talking with Ethan's pediatrician last night made me feel so much better. Really, there's not much more I can do to encourage him to nurse. And it's not a choice I made for him - he made it for me.

The new plan is to pump a few times during the day and feed him that milk from a bottle. His other feedings will be formula. And I'll cuddle him often, wear him in a sling, sing to him, and kiss his little head so he still feels nurtured. It's a compromise I never wanted to make, although I'm becoming more accepting as time goes by.

But it sure feels like failure.

Paperwork

2009-11-06T10:51:00.002-06:00

Yahoo! We're just waiting on the paperwork to be completed, and we're on our way home!

Little Boy Blue

2009-11-06T09:01:00.005-06:00

Long Story, Short

2009-11-04T22:02:00.006-06:00

Ethan is still beautiful, but life is not.

In the wee hours of Monday morning, Ethan's billirubin levels shot up dramatically. Like, enough to wake his pediatritan in the dead of night and get him admitted to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

His levels have stablized, thanks to constant light therapy. But they are still way too high, so although I have been discharged, I am rooming in with Ethan at the hospital.

His doctors are unsure of what caused such a rapid rise, but it is most likely a maternal blood incompatibilty issue or some kind of rare genetic thing. In any situation, the outcome is good, and we are thankful for that.

The hardest thing is that we cannot hold him, since he has to be under the lights contantly. Evie is home, while Chris and I are not. This is certainly not the way I imagined our family life would start out.

Everything should calm down in the next few days, and we hope to go home soon. Ethan will probably remain on 24/7 light therapy for awhile there, but at least we will all be together. And that will be the start of something very, very good.

More Photos of Ethan

2009-11-02T09:03:00.003-06:00

Ethan Ambrose

2009-11-02T00:35:00.003-06:00

Ethan arrived, after an easy delivery, at 6:37 PM this evening. He looks just like Chris, in miniature. He weighs 7 lbs, 5 oz and is 20 in long.

I am already in love.

More to come in the morning...

Sunday Morning

2009-11-01T10:04:00.006-06:00

So right now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed, pitocin dripping into my veins. I'm comfortable. And so very excited.

I keep looking down toward my belly. Ethan must also be excited, because his movement is causing my gown to ripple and move. His heartbeat is a steady sound in the background, along with ESPN on television. Already Chris is immersing our baby boy in football!

The sun is shining through the blinds, and a ray of light has fallen on the baby bed Ethan will soon rest in. I keep looking over, imagining him there. Not much longer, but the anticipation is killing me!

All the struggles to have another baby are about to pay off. God provides His light in every difficult situation. So now we wait to meet our son. We wait for this next wonderful change to our lives. And we thank God, again, for answering our prayers.

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Zhu Zhu Pets

2009-10-30T10:02:00.001-05:00

Zhu Zhu Hamsters from Jim Britton on Vimeo.

Have you heard of Zhu Zhu Pets? Picture cute, cuddly, energetic little hamsters - without the mess and fuss of a live pet. You can see them in action at our house in the video above.

A few months ago, Mom Select offered to send me a Zhu Zhu Pets party pack. It included eleven of the little hamsters, plus a hamster habitat. And what did I have to do in return? Host a party to give them away! So I happily agreed.

The enormous Box O' Hamsters arrived during nap time one day, but Evie and Chris tore into it when she woke up. Right away, Evie fell in love with her hamster. She squealed as it zoomed around the kitchen floor and yelled "Oh, no!" when it darted under the sofa. We met my family for dinner later in the evening, and she insisted on taking her new pet with us! And the next morning when we woke up, she headed into the living room and began playing with him again. Seriously, this little guy has kept her occupied way more than the average toy.

And the hamster habitat we received was cool, too. It included a funhouse, tunnel and wheel, ramp and spiral slide, adventure ball, surfboard and sleep dome, U-turn ramp and skateboard, and a hamster car and garage. Somehow, the hamsters know what room of the habitat they are in, and make appropriate noises - like snoring in the sleeping dome.

The entire habitat is easy to set up, but pretty large. We had to move our kitchen table to make room for it! But you can choose the pieces that work for you, creating a customized home for your Zhu Zhu pets. Everyone's favorite accessory seemed to be the car (kids and parents both flipped for this one.) I thought the adventure ball was the best. Watching Evie's pet zip around in it made me remember the hamster I had as a child. Plus, it stopped him from getting stuck under the couch!

The party was great! It was so much fun to watch the kids playing with the hamsters and habitat. Everyone took a pet home, and I've received great feedback. One of our little friends still sleeps with his hamster in a shoe box next to his bed! (Mental note: the pet bed and blanket would make a great Christmas gift for him!)

Since our party, my sister watched a news story that Zhu Zhu pets are going to be THE hot item this Christmas. And they're already among the top hot-selling toys on Amazon.com. After trying them ourselves, I know why!

Oh, and special thanks to my friend Jim Britton for shooting and editing the video of our party!

Wordless Wednesday - Her Elton John "Look"

2009-10-28T08:40:00.002-05:00

Insult to Injury?

2009-10-22T19:28:00.004-05:00

Part of our "car routine" is that I always kiss Evie before I close the her door in the minivan. Yesterday, I buckled her into her seat and kissed her nose. I whispered "I love you, Little One." And she sweetly replied "I love you, too, Big One."

Did I mention I'd really like to have this baby soon? Like now?

So today, we scheduled an induction. If Ethan doesn't make his grand entrance by the morning of November 1st, we're heading to the hospital for a little medical intervention. I think a baby born on All Saint's Day should be an angel, don't you?

Wordless Wednesday - Cupcakes

2009-10-21T12:36:00.002-05:00

Thirty Three Months

2009-10-20T07:56:00.003-05:00

Sweet Evie,

You turned thirty three months old yesterday. Since you're so tiny and so very verbal, people often look at me with surprise and ask how old you are. It feels odd to say "She's almost three." I don't know how the time passed so quickly, but it's been the best almost-three-years of my life.

This is the last birthday letter I'll write to you as my only child. Ethan will join our family in less than two weeks. You are so excited about his arrival. Just this morning, you were snuggled up to me and felt him moving. You said "I can't wait to meet him!" You plan on holding him and making him "comfy cozy." You're ready to help change diapers and soothe him when he cries. You are going to be such a sweet and loving big sister.

We've been making the most of our time together lately, with special "family" activities. We've been apple picking and to the circus. We've been to the park a million times, where you just want to swing and swing and swing. We've been out to dinner and played games and read books and cooked together. We've made crafts and colored and used glitter glue and put Halloween stickers on paper for hours. We've talked and talked and talked. You love doing anything "like a family," even mundane things like brushing your teeth!

You still require pickles each day before your nap. I lay down in bed with you as you crunch them and you always ask for stories. You need a story about Pablo and Rose, two made up characters, and a story about when you were born. Pablo and Rose used to take trips around the world on airplanes, but now you insist they get hurt in the story. So I find myself thinking of ways someone can break a bone! (Isn't this crazy?) They slip on water by the pool, trip on a branch on the sidewalk, and bump into each other when they're not paying attention. Then they are rushed to the hospital, where the doctors ask them what color cast they need. Of course, the answer is always pink! Let's just say your birth story is more fun to tell!

In addition to pickles, you love sushi. Last time we went out, we allowed you to eat the raw stuff for the first time. You devoured spicy tuna hand rolls and discovered a true love for masago. Pomegranates are in season again, so I have been spending lots of time pulling the jewel-like seeds out and putting them into bowls for you. You also like to eat cupcakes and candy, like any child!

Recently, you want to know what road we are driving on. "Are we on Manchester Road?" You know most of the street names close to home, and others that we travel frequently. It always makes me laugh to hear your little voice asking "This New Ballas Road?" I joke that you are already better with directions than Aunt Rachel!

You are becoming more musical all the time. Sometimes I'll see you tapping on something (your tummy or the table or the kitchen floor or a park bench) and you'll say "I'm making music!" You play your recorder and have just learned how to move your fingers up and down on the holes to make different notes. And, oh, do you love to sing! When we went apple picking, the orchard had a stage for Kid's Karaoke. You marched right up and sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - three times! You are a great performer and you did not want to leave the stage!

Your favorite musical artist is Taylor Swift. You discovered her by chance on the radio one day, and begged to hear her each time we went somewhere in the car. I finally had Daddy download the CD and now we play it constantly. You used to like You Belong to Me because of the line "She wears high heels, I wear sneakers." Your face lights up and you belt it out! But now you like Love Story. You love the end, where Romeo pulls out a ring and proposes. As the only two-year-old I know who is obsessed with weddings, it is the perfect song for you!

So we listen to those two songs over and over. I hadn't even heard many of the other songs until the other day. You stayed with GaGa while I had an appointment with my doctor. I'm so used to playing your music that I didn't even think about turning on something else. I just listened to the CD and the song The Best Day made me cry! It's a simple song with little memories of childhood, and a girl who is thankful for her mother. I hope and pray I am this kind of mother to you. And I hope you have these kind of memories to look back on when you're grown.

I always have the best days with you...

Love, Mommy

Fright Night

2009-10-16T15:31:00.002-05:00

Wednesday night was freaky, to say the least.

It started out as a pretty normal bedtime affair. Evie fell asleep on the couch and Chris took her into her bed. About 3:00 AM, she came into our room. Of course we were fast asleep, but her little sing-song voice woke us up.

Evie: (Holding up Shamu, her lovey, her pillow, and her blanket) I brought in all my stuff!
Me: Good! Now, please lay down on your Backyardigans bed and go to sleep.
Evie: Okay. Night night.

Quiet.

Our dog, Murphy, suddenly jumps up and runs barking to the kitchen. We live very close to Bluebird Park, so this happens several times a night. Murphy hears deer or skunks or who-knows-what. We ignore it.

Evie: Someone is standing in the hall.
Me: WHAT?
Evie: (Sitting up in bed, pointing) Someone is standing there.
Me: (Heart beating fast, looking in the hall) I don't see anyone in the hall.
Evie: (Insistent, still pointing) Someone is standing there.
Me: There is no one there!
Evie: (Angry now) Daddy is standing there!
Me: Daddy is in bed next to me.
Chris: Now she's really freaking me out! (Gets up with a flashlight to check things out. Finds nothing.)

Murphy comes back in the room and lays on her dog bed.

We all settle back in our beds. I can't stop opening my eyes to check the hall.

Murphy gets up again, runs to the kitchen and barks. She comes back into our room a few minutes later. I hear Evie's breathing, even and deep, and thank my lucky stars that she's already asleep.

I check the hall. I check the hall. I check the hall.

Murphy gets up again, runs to the kitchen and barks. She comes back into our room a few minutes later.

I check the hall. I check the hall. I check the hall.

Murphy gets up again, runs to the kitchen and barks. She comes back into our room a few minutes later.

I check the hall. I check the hall. I check the hall.

I check the hall. I check the hall. I check the hall.

Somewhere after 4:30, I finally fall asleep.

During the day, I am (usually) a sane and rational person. I don't worry about ghosts and things that go bump in the night. I know there is no such thing. But at 3:00 AM, things just look different. Especially when my daughter insists she sees someone in our home.

Soopy times here at the Hub House. Last night, she didn't mention anyone in the hallway. But I checked several times, just to be sure...

Boo! Salt Dough Ghosts

2009-10-15T07:46:00.003-05:00

Evie is really into Halloween this year. Of course, she remembers that you dress up and get candy. We've already purchased her costume, one that she's declared is "too scratchy." The tags have been removed, though, so she's wearing it if it kills us both.

Our neighborhood really decorates for this holiday. Evie keeps her eyes open for all the "soopy" (in English: spooky) sights. We see pumpkins and lights and spiders, skeletons and goblins and GHOSTS. She is fascinated by the ghosts - especially the big blow-up decorations on lawns. At night, we find ourselves driving her around to see the best houses, just to watch her excited reaction!

Yesterday, I found instructions on how to make salt dough ghosts. (Or "ghostes" if you ask Evie. She even corrects us if we say "ghosts.") We can't get a break from the cold and rain, so it was the perfect day to mix up this dough and bake our little ghosts in the oven. And don't you think they turned out well? So cute! Evie was even able to form some of the ghosts herself. (Hers are the three smallest.)

After they were finished, Evie played with them for a long time. Then she put them on our bookshelves, on the entryway table, and in her room. We even had enough to stick a couple on the mantle. It's beginning to look very soopy in our house!

Salt Dough Ghosts
1 c. salt
2 c. flour
1 c. water

cookie sheet
fine point Sharpie marker, black

(This dough is not edible. It won't hurt you, it's just way to salty to taste good!)

Preheat oven to 250 degrees. In a large bowl, mix together salt, flour and water until a dough is formed. Turn out onto counter and knead until the dough is smooth and elastic. If dough is too sticky, sprinkle with flour, and knead again. (Don't add too much flour, though. You don't want to dry out the dough and have it crack before you even bake it!)

Roll the dough in your hands into a short, fat tube. Stand the tube on a cookie sheet to form a ghost with your fingers, making the head smaller than the rest of the body. Use the tip of your finger to create waves at the bottom of the ghost, by pointing your finger straight down on the cookie sheet and tapping gently into the dough to make dents.

Bake for about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Check the bottom of your ghosts for wet spots. If still wet, continue cooking in 20 minute increments until dry. Remove from oven and allow to cool.

Using a fine-tip marker, draw faces on your ghosts.

(I can't remember where I found these instructions, so I'm not giving proper credit. Sorry. You can also visit this link for a microwave version of salt dough.)

Wordless Wednesday - Feeding the Baby

2009-10-14T07:57:00.001-05:00

Apple Bread & Applesauce

2009-10-13T19:16:00.003-05:00

Why didn't anyone ever tell me it's easier to make your own applesauce than to drive to the store and buy it?

A few weekends ago, we went apple picking. Chris and Evie and I, and Rachel and Jyoti, loaded up in the minivan. We took several wrong turns, resulting in a very long trip, but we made it to the orchards safe and sound.

And it was so worth it! Evie rode rides, we fed farm animals, we filled our tummies with barbecue, and then we headed out to the apples. A little tractor pulled us out to the fields. Then we picked and picked and picked! Evie liked the smaller apples, and Chris often had to hold her up so she could reach higher branches. The only variety that was in season was Golden Delicious, so I scouted out the greenest of them. I mistakenly thought I didn't like Golden Delicious apples, but changed my mind after tasting some that were crisp and sweet, with just a little bit of tart flavor. It is a very special day when you get to rub a shine onto an apple and sink your teeth into it - right in the middle of an orchard.

Then we loaded our little bags back on the tractor and went to pay. Would you believe we ended up with TWELVE POUNDS of apples. What can you do with twelve pounds of apples? You can only eat so many plain. Here are two recipes I tried and liked. And I really meant to post pictures. But we ate everything too quickly!

Apple Bread
1/2 c. butter, softened
1 c. sugar
2 eggs
2 c. flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
2 apples - peeled, cored, and chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour an 8X4 inch loaf pan.

In a bowl, mix the butter and sugar until smooth and creamy. Beat in the eggs.

In a separate bowl, mix together flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. Mix into the butter mixture until just moistened. Fold in the apples. (It will seem like a lot of apples, but don't worry.) Transfer into the prepared loaf pan.

Bake one hour in the preheated oven, until a toothpick in the center comes out clean. Cool in the pan for 15 minutes before turning out onto a wire rack to cook completely.

Applesauce
4 apples - peeled, cored, and chopped
3/4 c. water
1/4 c. sugar
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan. Cover, and cook over medium heat for 15 to 20 minutes, or until apples are soft. Allow to cool, then mash with a fork or potato masher. (I used a stick blender when the apples were still hot.)

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Crazy Talk

2009-10-09T12:20:00.003-05:00

It's been raining like crazy for the past few days. Fortunately, we've had a lot of activities that have taken us out of the house. Mostly doctor appointments, but we haven't been cooped up much. Until now. Evie is battling another allergy flare-up and I am sick of the bottom of my jeans being wet. So we are home for the day.

But even a sick Evie has a lot of energy. After we played and watched TV and glued noodles to paper, she was antsy. And what did we do to release this energy? Why, we had a pillow fight, of course!

It was so much fun! We bonked each other in the head and ran around the living room, giggling. She learned to block my hits. She sneaked behind me to whack my bottom. She was out of breath by the time she started chasing the dog and we had to end our game.

A few minutes ago, we were eating lunch. Evie looked into the living room and noticed our pillows in a heap on the floor.

Evie: We shouldn't hit. It's bad to hit.
Me: It was okay this time. We both wanted to play. Plus, we hit with pillows so it wouldn't hurt.
Evie: It would hurt if we hit with bats.
Me: Bats? Like baseball bats?
Evie: Yes, bats.
Me: Well, yes. It would hurt if we hit each other with bats. That would be really bad.
Evie: What if we put pillows around the bats?

Wordless Wednesday - Last Chance

2009-10-07T07:54:00.001-05:00

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins

2009-10-06T17:16:00.003-05:00

Now that it's October, pumpkins are everywhere. And Evie loves them. We have a visit to the pumpkin patch scheduled for later in the month, but we bought a very tiny pumpkin when we went apple picking this past weekend. (Pictures of apple picking to follow soon!) Evie likes to look at it, but mostly she wants to eat it.

I've explained we have to cook pumpkins before we eat them. I must say I'm not a fan of pumpkin at all. I might take a small sliver of pumpkin pie occasionally, but that's just so I can pile on the whipped cream and then pitch the pie in the trash later. (I can hear the boos and hisses from you all now.)

However, there is one exception. My sister-in-law, Cathy, makes the most yummy Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins. We make these often for potlucks and the occasional breakfast. This fall weather and spooky season is making me crave them, so I know I'll be baking these for Evie (and Chris and myself) soon!

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins
2 c. sugar
15 oz. canned pumpkin
1/2 c. oil (I sometimes substitute apple sauce)
1/2 c. vanilla pudding (can use 1 container of handy snack pudding)
4 egg whites
3 c. flour
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking soda
12 oz. chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat muffin tins with cooking spray.

Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl and stir well. In a separate bowl, combine cinnamon, salt, baking soda and flour. Add flour mixture to pumpkin mixture and stir until moist. Stir in chocolate chips. Spoon mixture into muffin tins.

Bake for 18 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Pinkalicious

2009-10-05T16:23:00.004-05:00

Evie loves the color pink. She loves pink toys, pink food, pink clothes. She's been known to refuse to wear a dress because it's not pink. "It looks kind of like boy clothes." Whoever heard of a boy in a teal and yellow dress?

It should come as no surprise that her favorite book is Pinkalicious. We read it over and over and over, and over and over and over, till we are pink in the face. For those of you who don't know this story by heart, Pinkalicious is a little girl who bakes pink cupcakes with her mom on a rainy afternoon. She eats so many that she is pink when wakes up the next morning! After her doctor diagnoses her with Pinkititis, she learns two lessons: the importance of a well-balanced diet, and that it's always more comfortable to be yourself.

This afternoon, Evie woke up from her nap crying. Hysterically. I think she didn't have enough sleep, but I couldn't get her to calm down. She kept saying "I'm sad!" and "I don't know what's wrong with me!" After at least ten minutes of this, I asked "What do you think we could do to make you feel better?" The waterworks stopped immediately (I'm a sucker, I know,) and Evie said "Do we have the stuff to make Pinkalicious cupcakes?"

We did, and the last batch is in the oven now. We had fun mixing and adding lots of pink food coloring. Evie is tickled pink about the whole thing. But just a couple minutes ago, she said "I'll eat all the cupcakes and then I'll be pink like Pinkalicious!" Um, that might be an ingredient I don't have.

Rebellion

2009-10-01T07:44:00.001-05:00

Evie's negotiation skills are going downhill.

We have this wild and crazy rule in our home: You may not throw food. You can't throw it across the table, can't throw it to the dog, can't throw it on the floor. No food throwing, are we clear?

But this rule must be unreasonable to a two-year-old. Most of Evie's Time Outs are for one of two things - bothering the dog, or throwing food. Last night was no exception. Evie threw an apple slice across the table. I warned her, and Chris gave her a lecture. "You are not allowed to throw food. Mommy gave you a warning, but no more warnings. If you throw food, you will go in Time Out. Mommy and I are on the same page here, food throwing gets you a Time Out. Capiche?" And Evie pretended to understand.

A few minutes later, she sent the apple slice sailing to the floor.

Me: Okay, you threw the apple on the floor. You are going in Time Out.
Evie: I don't want to go in Time Out.
Chris: You know the rules, and you already got a warning. You are going in Time Out.
Evie: No! I don't want a Time Out!
Me: Too bad, you shouldn't have thrown the apple.
Evie: (sitting in the Time Out chair) But I don't want to sit in Time Out!
Me: We're not talking anymore. Be quiet and sit there for two minutes.
Evie: No! I'll sit here for FIVE MINUTES!

I think we may need to work on her concept of time...

Wordless Wednesday - Doughnuts

2009-09-30T07:18:00.002-05:00

Easy French Onion Soup

2009-09-29T17:39:00.003-05:00

Chris has been asking me to make French Onion Soup for a long time. Ages, really. But I read once that French Onion Soup isn't worth it unless you make your own beef stock. And I've meant to do that, only I never have. Things like vacuuming and blogging and taking care of Evie and sleeping and Desperate Housewives get in the way, and I don't carve out time for things like homemade beef stock.

Chris just couldn't leave it alone, though. Then Evie discovered Panera's French Onion Soup, and loved it. So, fine - they won. I looked up an easy recipe on allrecipes.com and I bought beef broth at the grocery store. And, man oh man, this was good soup! It was perfect for the fall weather we're having - warm and rich and gooey with cheese. I guess Chris can be right every once in awhile!

I served the soup with my homemade bread. And even though I used canned broth, I still felt like Suzy Homemaker...

Easy French Onion Soup
1/2 c. unsalted butter
2 Tbsp. olive oil
4 c. sliced onions
4 (10.5 oz.) cans beef broth
2 Tbsp. dry sherry
1 tsp. dried thyme
salt and pepper to taste

4 slices French bread
4 slices Muenster cheese
2 slices Swiss cheese, diced

Melt butter with olive oil in a stock pot on medium heat. Add onions and cook (stirring very often,) until tender and translucent. Do not brown the onions. (The part about not browning the onions didn't sound right to me, but I followed the directions. The soup was fabulous, so I guess there's a reason for it!)

Add beef broth, sherry and thyme. Season with salt and pepper, and simmer for 30 minutes.

Heat the oven broiler.

Ladle soup into oven-safe serving bowls and place one slice of bread on top of each. Layer each slice of bread with a slice of Muenster and 1/2 a slice of diced Swiss. Place bowls on a cookie sheet and broil in the preheated oven until the cheese bubbles and browns slightly. (I don't have oven-safe bowls. Instead, I just broiled the bread slices as directed and put them into bowls of soup afterward. Still just as good.)

And I'd make sure to use the sherry. I think it added a tiny little hint of richness that I would miss if it wasn't in the soup. Plus, it was fun to hear Evie in the liquor section, confused about the difference between sherry and Aunt Shari!

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Four Days of Giveaways - St. Louis Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey's Zing Zang Zoom

2009-09-28T21:29:00.006-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of All Ages - the circus is coming to town!

St. Louis will be hosting Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey's show Zing Zang Zoom at the Scottrade Center. The performance is a mix of magic and traditional circus arts, so you shouldn't be surprised if a four-ton elephant disappears before your eyes! Tigers and elephants and Arabian horses will join human performers like human cannonballs and highwire acts to delight and amaze you. It promises to be The Greatest Show on Earth!

And every ticket holder is invited to the free All Access Preshow, which begins at 6:00pm. It will give you a chance to head down to the circus floor to meet the performers, get autographs, try on costumes, and clown around. Get it, "clown around?" Oh, but I digress...

St. Louis show dates are:
Thursday, October 15 @ 7:00pm
Friday, October 16 @ 10:30am & 7:00pm
Saturday, October 17 @ 1:00pm & 5:00pm
Sunday, October 18 @ 1:00pm & 5:00pm

Mom Central has graciously provided my family with tickets for this thrilling event. I can't wait to see Evie's face amid all the wonder under the big top! I've also been provided with tickets to give away to one lucky family! Simply leave a comment on this post letting me know your favorite circus animal. Be sure I have your email address so I can contact you if you win! One random winner will receive a 4-pack of tickets for the opening night (October 15th) show. This contest closes at midnight on Saturday, October 3rd.

If you don't win, I can still let you in on a great deal:
To purchase tickets, visit www.ticketmaster.com. You can receive four tickets for $44 for any Monday-Friday performance, or $4 off tickets for all weekend performances by entering the code MOM in the "MC promotion" box. A minimum purchase of 4 tickets is required, but additional tickets can be purchased at $11 each during the week and $4 off on weekends. Offer not valid on Celebrity Circus, Front Row, or VIP seating. Cannot be combined with other offers. Service Charges, facility and handling fees will apply.

Good luck! Of course, I'll tell you all about it, but I hope to see you there!

**This contest is closed to new comments. Congratulations to Alaina @ Three Ladies and a Dad, who won tickets for her family! Thanks to everyone who participated.**

Four Days of Giveaways - Nature Valley Granola Nut Clusters

2009-09-27T20:23:00.007-05:00

I am eight months pregnant. Obviously, I'm not hiking the trails. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a healthy snack right here in front of my computer.

My Blog Spark recently sent me a Nature Valley Granola Nut Clusters "Snack Pack." And I love Nature Valley. When I was still working, there was a little shop in the lobby of my office building that sold snack-type foods. I used to start my morning with a yogurt sprinkled with mashed-up Nature Valley crunchy granola bars. Oh, yum.

So I tore into these bags. I received all four varieties - Roasted Cashew, Nut Lovers, Roasted Almond, and Honey Roasted Peanut. These little bites are a blend of roasted nuts, whole grain oats, and a touch of honey. It's been less than a week, and all that's left is half a bag of Nut Lovers. I've popped these nuggets in my mouth for breakfast, had them as a snack while watching TV, and served them to other moms in my playgroup. They are so good! Crunchy and salty and sweet all at the same time. I like that they're tasty, but also pretty healthy. It's nice to get a decent amount of fiber and protein from your snacks! And I can pronounce every ingredient on the list!

The "Snack Pack" also included a sling backpack, stainless steel water bottle, flashlight and binoculars. You would have thought it was Christmas! Chris snatched up the water bottle, and Evie has taken over the flashlight and binoculars. The poor sling backpack has been relegated to the closet...

I have an additional "Snack Pack" for one of you! Simply leave a comment telling me your favorite season in nature, and I'll choose a random winner to receive the prize pack. This contest closes at midnight on September 30th.

Good luck! And if you live in the St. Louis area, stay tuned tomorrow for another chance to win free stuff! Don't forget to enter my other contests from this weekend here and here.

**This contest is closed to new comments. Congratulations to Martha, the winner, who said "Omg, I've totally got to get in on this one. I'm a Nature Valley freak, I eat the granola bars constantly. Fall is of course my favorite season. Cool and rainy, with the lovely bonus of halloween :D." Thanks to everyone for participating!**

Four Days of Giveaways - Dole Jarred Fruit

2009-09-26T15:37:00.005-05:00

Okay, so we probably should all eat more fruit. It's is low in calories, but high in fiber and nutrients. And if you're worried about H1N1 (like my husband,) you will be happy to know that adequate Vitamin C intake can help maintain a healthy immune system. Plus, fruit just tastes good!

I prefer fresh fruit, but it's not always convenient or cheap. Dole Fruit in Plastic Jars is an easy, all-natural way to get your fruit fix. No cutting, slicing, or peeling - the multi-serving jars are resealable and contain ready-to-eat fruit. Dole makes several varieties including Mandarin Oranges, Pineapple Chunks, Tropical Fruit with Papaya and Pineapple (our favorite,) Sliced Peaches and Mixed Fruit.

I received coupons for two free jars along with a recipe wallet. We snacked on a jar, and used another to make Caribbean Cream Pops. They were so good - and full of that healthy fruit we should all be eating!

Caribbean Cream Pops
1 jar (24.5 oz.) Dole Tropical Fruit
1 c. mango or papaya nectar
1/2 c. light coconut milk
1 small ripe banana, peeled and sliced
3 oz. cream cheese, softened
2 Tbsp. honey

Measure 2 cups drained tropical fruit. Combine tropical fruit, nectar, coconut milk, banana, cream cheese and honey in a blender. Cover and blend until smooth. Pour mixture equally into popsicle molds or 3 oz. plastic cups.

Place on tray and freeze about 1 hour, until partially set. Insert 1 wooden stick into center of each cup; freeze 2 hours longer or until firm.

At www.DoleMagic.com you can find tips and more recipes to help incorporate fruit every day as part of a healthy diet. You can also enter for a chance to win a trip for three to Maui!

I have an additional Dole coupon wallet to give away, including coupons for (2) free jars of fruit, as well as recipes. Simply leave a comment letting me know your favorite fruit by midnight September 30th. I'll choose a random winner to receive the coupon wallet.

Good luck! Stay tuned tomorrow for more prizes! Yesterday's contest can be found here.

**This contest is closed to new comments. Congratulations to Jenn @ A Country Girl's Ramblings, who won the coupon wallet. Thanks to everyone for participating!**

Four Days of Giveaways - Yoplait Whips!

2009-09-25T18:33:00.008-05:00

There are so many fun things about blogging - capturing this beautiful and fleeting time in my life, making new friends, getting my feelings out. But recently, I've discovered another perk - FREE STUFF!

I've been fortunate enough to have a few companies send me products to try. And this is to your benefit, because you may get to try them, too! For the next four days, I'll be posting reviews and giving away the items I review.

First up is Yoplait Whips! Now in all honesty, I've tried this yogurt before. It's light and airy and tasty, but I always thought the texture was a little off. This doesn't make any sense, but it seemed greasy - too much air or something. So I stuck with the custard-style yogurt, which is my favorite.

But then I noticed the commercials for frozen Whips! I wondered how that would taste, when lo and behold, Yoplait offered to send me a Summer Cool Down gift basket. The basket included coupons for free Whips! as well as a cooler tote, popsicle molds, and color-changing spoons.

I used the coupons about a month ago and bought a Strawberry Mist and a Chocolate yogurt. (There are a ton of other flavors including Key Lime Pie, Orange Creme, Chocolate Raspberry, Lemon Burst, Peaches 'N Cream, Raspberry Mousse, and Vanilla Creme.) I stuck them in the freezer. And I loved them!

Pregnant women and ice cream go together like, well, pregnant women and ice cream! But I feel a lot healthier chowing down on a yummy frozen yogurt. Whips! have a great texture when you freeze them - smooth and cool. These are seriously my new nighttime indulgence. And one I can continue guilt-free once Ethan is born!

If you'd like a chance to win a Summer Cool Down gift basket of your own, please leave me a comment telling me your favorite indulgent treat. Be sure I have your email address to contact you if you win. This contest closes at midnight on Wednesday, September 30th. Two random winners will receive a gift basket.

(US residents only. The free coupons included in the basket are not valid in some states, including California, Idaho, Louisiana, Minnesota, Nevada, New Jersey, North Dakota, and Tennessee.)

Good luck! Stay tuned tomorrow for another chance to win free stuff!

**This contest is closed to new comments. Congratulations to Alex @ The Jones Family Journey and Ashlee @ Across the Branch, who won the gift packs. Thanks to everyone for participating!**

Secret Asian

2009-09-24T08:12:00.004-05:00

Chris and Evie often like the same foods, and we joke it's because they're both Asian. That's why they like soy sauce and nori and Sriracha so much. And we all drool for sushi. Chris also insists it's why they love pesto, but I think that's a bit of a stretch!

Yesterday, Evie and I were putting away the dishes and listening to her Backyardigans CD. The song "Secret Agent" came on, and I sang along:

Shh! Shh! Secret!
Shh! Shh! Secret Agent!

Evie looked up, surprised, and blurted "Hey, I'm Asian!"

I hope she doesn't think it's a secret!

Wordless Wednesday - Beauty & the Butterflies

2009-09-23T08:08:00.002-05:00

Thirty Two Months

2009-09-21T18:57:00.005-05:00

Sweet Evie,

A couple of days ago, you turned thirty two months old. And there isn't a day that goes by now when I don't realize how big you are. Right now, you're in the garage since it's raining, playing with the neighbor girls. You're eating Nerds. I can hear you all talking and laughing. Someone is singing, and it makes my heart happy to hear your voice piping up now and again.

Daddy is painting Ethan's room blue, and it is driving you crazy. You insist that your brother would really like pink better. I think you're just about as excited for his arrival as we are. Today you kissed my belly and asked "Ethan have toys in there?" I explained he does not, he's just floating around in the water, listening to us. Then you said you were going to share your squirt bottle with him, and I swelled with happiness. You see, your squirt bottle is one of your favorite and most prized possessions. And you want to share it with our baby. You are going to be the best big sister...

You and Daddy are inseparable lately. The two of you play Hide and Seek and board games. He carries you on his back and calls it the Monkey Train. The other day, he was at work and you said "I want the Monkey Train to come home so I can take a ride. I miss he." Sometimes you cry in the morning when you wake up and realize Daddy has left for work. But when he comes home, you run into his arms and he throws you in the air. It's a magical sight to behold.

Ooga is everywhere now. She is home with us, sharing your pickles before naptime. She comes with us to restaurants and the park. You mention her a zillion times each day. I wonder if she will hang around so much once Ethan is here for real.

You are such a little drama girl. You love to pretend you are someone else. Your newest persona is Sassy Pickle. We'll be playing ball outside on the front lawn, and you'll run over to Daddy and thrust out your hand. You'll ask "Who are you?" and shake hands. Daddy will make up some silly name and you'll reply "I'm Sassy Pickle." I have no idea where you came up with that name! I wasn't even aware you knew the word "sassy!"

You love to dress up, and are forever disappointed when wings and a wand don't really let you fly. You are so confused because it works for Tinkerbell and Abby Cadabby... You also love to dance. And now you try to teach me your dance moves - "You put one arm out and wiggle your fingers. Walk on your toes and turn around and around." It cracks me up to get instruction from you.

Oh, you love to look at our wedding album! I don't know where this obsession came from, either, but it's fun. At least once a day, we pull it out and look at the pictures. We look at Angel Grammy and Daddy's cousin Philip. You like to see Chris, our ring bearer, and Samantha, our flower girl. You comment about how handsome Daddy is. But most of all, you love the cakes! And you just can't figure out why you aren't in any of the pictures.

Of course, I think you are a genius. Really, you probably are. (I'm not biased or anything!) You know all your letters and you love to spell out signs you see. "B-O-R-D-E-R-S!" "B-E-S-T B-U-Y!" I R-O-C-K!" I'd like to take credit for this learning, but it's all due to television and Word World. The best is when you see a long word, and you say "It's a challenge!" and then spell the whole thing.

You are such a treasure, my dear girl. I read somewhere that this age is like Christmas - you can't wait to wake up and see what kind of gift your child gives you. A smile, a hug, saying something magical and sweet. It really is the truth. I love each minute, each second, with you. You will always be my "best thing."

I love you beyond words.

Love, Mommy

Oh, the Games People Play

2009-09-17T17:01:00.005-05:00

Today is bright and beautiful. The sun is shining and there's a cool breeze. But Tuesday was nasty - it rained all day long. All. Day. Long. So what do you do when you're stuck inside with a toddler? I'm thinking of this more and more, because the weather will turn soon, and we'll have a little guy who won't be so mobile.

There's always Play-Doh and painting and coloring and books (Pinkalicious, over and over,) and mindless cartoons. But on Tuesday, we played games. Evie loves to play games, although she's not yet competitive enough to get "winning." I thought I'd let you know a couple we've discovered. You know, since Evie is a trendsetter and all.

Our first favorite game is an oldie-but-goodie. I bought Hi Ho Cherry-O! about six months ago, and we've been playing it ever since. In case you've forgotten, the object of the game is to get all the cherries (or oranges or blueberries or apples, in the new version) from the tree into your basket. You spin a little spinner-thing and "pick" the appropriate number of pieces from your tree. Watch out for the dog or bird, who eat the fruit right out of your basket! (Evie always says "The dog must like my blueberries!) It's helped us with counting and learning to take turns. And it's fun to see her throw her hands in the air and yell "Hi Ho Cherry-O!" when her basket is full!

We also love Disney DVD Bingo. A neighbor gave it to us as a hand-me-down and it has been Evie's favorite game of the summer. You choose a card and pop in the DVD. The great thing is that each space on the card corresponds to a number, color, and Disney character. So B12 is Peter Pan on the red space, and a big picture of Peter Pan comes up on the screen. Evie can easily identify the correct spot and put the marker over the space. (Her confidence at this game also makes her bossy, and she watches our cards, too.) This game is fun for her, but also for us! And it was great to take along with our portable DVD player to my mom's cancer treatments and hospital stays. All the nurses smiled at Evie and my mom propped up in bed playing Bingo.

The newest game to enter our household has been Zimbbos! and this is what we're currently "stuck" on. I love the game because the pieces are wooden and durable, and it teaches spacial relationships and motor skills. Evie loves it because it's fun! The rules are simple - you roll a die to determine how many elephants to stack, or if you should stack another piece like a clown or a balance bar. Whoever puts the last elephant on the pyramid (and wouldn't you know it, it's PINK) wins! We have made some fantastic pyramids, and I'm amazed at how creative Evie is!

So now it's your turn to share with me. What do you when the weather turns foul and you spend the day inside? And do you have any favorite games in your household?

Wordless Wednesday - Waking Up

2009-09-16T07:32:00.002-05:00

Carrot Cake

2009-09-15T17:51:00.002-05:00

My sister, Martha, was in town from Portland a few weeks ago. My mom had a BBQ so friends and family would have time to visit with her. The BBQ also fell on Jyoti's birthday weekend. We all know his favorite cake is carrot cake, so that's what I brought to the shindig!

It was delicious! I was so pleased with the rave reviews from Jyoti and my husband! (Chris is always one to give suggestions to make a recipe better, but he didn't have any this time!) I've never made carrot cake before, but it was easy and so very yummy. It's definitely something I will make again and again.

But it wasn't a pretty cake. Although I tried not to incorporate too much air when I was mixing the ingredients, the center of each cake still fell. And then it stuck to the bottom of the pans, so the cake came out in a couple of pieces. I managed to piece it together, frost it, and then covered it in chopped pecans. Not great, but the taste made up for it!

Next time, I'll line the bottom of each pan with a circle of parchment paper, and I'll use those strips that promise level cakes. Oh, plus I would make just a little more frosting. I can't get enough cream cheese frosting...

Carrot Cake

For Cake:
4 eggs
1 1/4 c. vegetable oil
2 c. sugar
3 tsp. vanilla
2 c. all-purpose flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt.
3 tsp. ground cinnamon
3 c. grated carrots (I used a food processor instead of a grater.)
8 oz. crushed pineapple, drained
1 c. chopped pecans

For frosting:
1/2 c. butter, softened
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
4 c. powdered sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 c. chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour two 9-inch cake pans.

In a large bowl, beat together eggs, oil, sugar and vanilla. Mix in flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon. Stir in carrots and pineapple. Fold in pecans, and pour into prepared pans.

Bake for about 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan, then turn out of pan and cool completely on a wire rack.

To make frosting, combine butter, cream cheese, powdered sugar and vanilla. Beat until the mixture is smooth and creamy. Stir in pecans and frost the cooled cake, or simply press pecans onto sides and top of frosted cake.

Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Party of Four

2009-09-14T09:22:00.003-05:00

Last night, Evie curled up on the couch with me to fall asleep. We watched a little bit of a PBS special and then she turned toward me and put her sweet head on my ever-growing belly. She closed her eyes. Oh, Evie was just beautiful in the flickering light! She was still for so long that I thought she fell asleep.

And then the baby started kicking in my tummy. This little guy is strong! Evie sat up and looked at me. She said "I love this baby. I love Ethan."

My heart melted. She's so young, but so very sweet. I know she doesn't understand the changes Ethan will bring to our lives, but she understands her baby brother is growing inside me, and she loves him.

She put her head back on my belly, and Ethan kept kicking. Evie said "He is kicking a LOT!" She placed her tiny hand on my tummy, right next to her cheek. "I want to feel he." We sat like that, feeling our baby kick, until she drifted off to sleep.

I am soaking up these last few weeks with Evie, but I can't wait until Ethan is born. I have little glimpses of our life with him. Evie is ready to have him in the seat next to her in the mini-van. She always points and says "Ethan can sit here, and Ooga can sit in the back." And I can imagine her back there, chattering away to this tiny baby. We had a beautiful day at the park yesterday, and I thought about Chris and I, side by side, each pushing a child on the swings. We'll have to ask for a table of four at our favorite sushi restaurant. Evie will show Ethan how to gobble edamame and miso soup. I see us all cheering on the Spartans this fall, Chris and Evie yelling at the TV, while Ethan and I give them puzzled looks. Such good things are in store for our family...

For now, though, I'm just cherishing watching my first miracle baby in the flickering light.

Remembering and Celebrating

2009-09-11T11:28:00.003-05:00

My post last year on 9/11...

http://oakbriarfarm.blogspot.com/2008/09/let-freedom-ring.html

Congrats, Jyoti, on the one year anniversary of becoming a citizen of our great nation. And heartfelt prayers for our country, today and every day.

Your Voice - Grandparent's Day

2009-09-11T08:09:00.002-05:00

Chris and I both come from big families, and we love it. The only downside is that Evie has so many relatives who live far away! Aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins... We frequently use our web cams to keep in touch, which really helps her "know" these people she can't see often.

A few weeks ago, I received an email newsletter that included information about a new, FREE service. It's called Your Voice, and it allows you to record and send voice greetings. I like that the recipient can listen to the greeting over and over, and even download it for safekeeping. We used it at the end of August to record Evie singing Happy Birthday to Chris' dad. It was really easy, and certainly brought a smile to his face! And to mine! (Evie is a LOUD singer!)

You simply dial a number, record your message into the phone, and send the greeting by email. You can find instructions and record your greeting here: http://www.grandparents.com/gp/yourvoice/getstarted1/index.html?navbar=menu-activities

National Grandparent's Day is this Sunday (September 13th,) so it's the perfect time for you to try this service, too. Your child could sing a song or say "I love you!" If you're a grandparent yourself, you could tell a story about your grandchild or read one of their favorite books. Plus, it's a fun way to capture your child's voice! I know I will treasure these recordings as Evie gets older. It's better than a Hallmark card!

I Still Love You

2009-09-10T16:44:00.002-05:00

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday.

It was probably because I was sorely lacking sleep, mostly of my own doing. It's hard to get a word in during the day, due to Evie the Motor Mouth, so Chris and I do a lot of talking at night. We lie in bed and talk and talk and talk. For several nights in a row, it was past midnight when we eventually went to sleep. And then I wake up approximately forty-seven times a night to pee. And a few more times when, I swear, this kid threatens to kick his leg right through my tummy. And Evie, who used to sleep until seven each morning, is now waking up at the crack of dawn. And did I mention I'm eight months pregnant?

I'm just giving you some perspective here, not asking for sympathy. Like I said, this is mostly my own doing. If I went to bed at a respectable hour, I would be much more rested. But Wednesday I was so tired. So cranky. And a little bit nervous about my mom's appointment with her oncologist. Do you see where this is going?

Oh, I was not the mother I intended to be! The loving and patient woman I try to be on a normal day was nowhere to be found.

I spent too much time on the phone, then yelled at Evie when she hit my leg to gain my attention. I spent too much time on the computer, then tried to rush her out the door because we were running late. I was frustrated when she only ate a few goldfish crackers for a snack at our playdate. She threw rocks, and I groaned. She walked too slowly back to the car. She would not stop talking. She wanted to stir in the seasoning packet for her noodles and I refused. I just wanted to get her to bed for a nap, and collapse myself.

Evie cried about the seasoning packet. She said "You're making me sad! My eyes are dripping!" And do you know what I did? I yelled "You are making me sad, too! I'm trying to make lunch here, and you are getting in the way! Go in the living room!" And my heart barely even registered a blip when she curled up with Shamu on the floor, whimpering.

We ate a rushed and quiet lunch, and fell into bed. Forty-five minutes later, the phone woke me up. Ah, that sleep made me myself again. Ready to really "mother" Evie. And twenty minutes later, she woke up when my mom came in the door. She jumped out of bed and ran to GaGa, yelling with joy. It made me smile, probably for the first time all day.

Later that evening, we were snuggling together after her bath. I apologized to Evie about my behavior earlier in the day. I told her it wasn't her fault. I explained that the best thing about tomorrow was a fresh start, and promised not to act like that. I was so disappointed in myself.

I swear, Evie listened. I know she's only two, but I really believe she understood. She said "I still love you when you are mad. I still love you when you are frustrated."

Oh, that healed my guilt. There are so many times when I explain to Evie that I always love her. Even when she disobeys and has to go in Time Out. Even when she cries in a store. Even when she hits the dog. I might not like her behavior, but I always love her.

And Evie knows it. Knows it enough even to repeat it back to me when I've misbehaved. I forgive myself for yesterday morning. Because I am a good mother all the other times. Those times count more than the times I stumble.

Wordless Wednesday - Swings

2009-09-09T13:21:00.000-05:00

Artisan Bread & Cinnamon Butter

2009-09-08T21:34:00.006-05:00

Can you believe I baked this bread?

I still can't believe it. But I did have a little help.

A few weeks ago, I read a book review on Scribbit. Michelle raved about a book called Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day, written by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoe Francois. Michelle followed the simple instructions in the book, and easily turned out beautiful loaves of bread.

Could it really be true? I have great memories of my mother and Aunt Jennifer baking bread together on Thanksgiving. They spent hours in the kitchen mixing dough, letting it rise, and braiding it into beautiful and delicious loaves. And so I've wanted to do the same. Only I fail miserably.

A few years ago, I put a King Arthur Flour bread baking book on my Christmas list. I received it from my sister-in-law, and was so excited to try it. I mean, any bread book by King Arthur Flour is like a bread Bible, right? The problem was, I couldn't get it right. I did everything according to the directions, but my bread slumped over in the oven and made a giant mess all over the baking stone. It wasn't edible.

So I was intrigued by Michelle's review, but wasn't quite a believer. I did my research, reading reviews on Amazon. Even self-proclaimed bread snobs said this book was a winner. I bought it Friday night, then held my breath and made the dough on Saturday.

Everything went according to plan. The master recipe in the book is for a Boule dough, which is an artisan free-form loaf. I added water, yeast, and salt into my stand mixer, then dumped in the flour all at once. (You can also mix by hand.) About a minute later, I had bread dough. That was it, no blooming the yeast or kneading. I let it rise on the counter for a couple of hours, and popped it into the fridge.

And it still looked good the next morning. I formed a loaf and set it on the counter to rest. I preheated the oven. I told Chris I was afraid to bake it. Everything was going along so perfectly, and here was the test. It couldn't possibly be this easy.

Imagine how excited I was when a perfect loaf of bread was ready just thirty minutes later. The best thing about this recipe (besides the fact that it makes delicious bread) is that you mix enough dough for four one-pound loaves. Then you just store it in the refrigerator for up to fourteen days, taking what you need as you bake. So I popped in another loaf. When it was finished, it looked even better than the first.

I felt like an accomplished baker when I took these to Rachel's for Sunday dinner. And I had a huge feeling of satisfaction when they were gobbled up, to rave reviews.

I made a new batch of dough with Evie this morning, and it's waiting in the fridge. After I'm sure I've mastered this recipe, I'm on to the Vermont Cheddar Bread recipe. Or the Olive Bread recipe. Or maybe I'll get brave and try Bagels or Pretzels or Naan. Or Brioche. All I know, is this book has given me the confidence to try them all!

I served the loaves Sunday with a simple Cinnamon Butter.

Cinnamon Butter
1/2 c. butter, softened
1 c. honey
1 Tbsp. ground cinnamon

Cream butter in mixer. Add honey and cinnamon, and mix until fully incorporated. Chill before serving.

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

A Magical Night

2009-09-04T08:48:00.003-05:00

Last night, we saw Disney On Ice 100 Years of Magic. In a word, it was spectacular!

Of course Evie was excited. She woke up in the middle of her nap yesterday and yelled "Ice!" then went back to sleep. I asked her later what she was dreaming about, and she said "I dreaming about ice by the Princess' feet. I dreaming about skating." Later, when we were in line to enter the arena, Evie pretended to skate until we were admitted. Chris and my mom held onto her hands as she slid her feet and tried to twirl around the floor.

The show was so much fun! As you grow up, you lose some of the wonder at the world around you. But watching the performance through the eyes of a child made me feel kind of like a kid again. Evie was excitedly clapping along to the music. She loved each of the characters, especially Genie who did flips. And she loved when they reenacted the It's a Small World ride, pointing and squealing at the lights, the Eiffel Tower, and Mickey flying in a hot air balloon. I found myself smiling and "oohing and ahhing" along with the crowd.

Evie sat next to my mom, and it made me so happy to watch them together. For my mother, who never saw the Ice Capades as a child, this was a long-held dream come true. For much of the performance Evie sat on her lap, where I could see both of their faces light up at the same time. Oh, Snow White! Oh, Jiminy Cricket! Oh, Nemo! Oh, Pinocchio and the whale!

It really was a magical night, and Evie didn't want it to end. We stayed until most of the crowd had left so Evie could dance to the music playing over the loudspeakers. And as soon as she woke up this morning, the first words from her mouth were "I wish we could see Biz-en-ey On Ice again next week."

There's still time for your family to attend a show and experience the same wonder we did. You can purchase a 4-pack of tickets for only $44 for weekday shows or receive $4 off weekend tickets by logging onto http://www.metrotix.com and entering the coupon code MOM.

St. Louis Show Dates:
Thursday, September 3 @ 7:00 PM
Friday, September 4 @ 7:00 PM
Saturday, September 5 @ 11:30 AM, 3:30 PM, & 7:00 PM
Sunday, September 6 @ 1:00 PM & 5:00 PM

We received free tickets, dinner, and a goody bag courtesy of Mom Central and Feld Entertainment. Although these are fantastic perks, this review is straight from the heart!

Another Miracle

2009-09-03T08:03:00.004-05:00

Do you remember this photo from many months ago? One of these precious embryos has grown into the beautiful little boy you see above. My heart still swells with this miracle every single time I think about it. A very big blessing from God in a very tiny package...

I can't wait to see his face. Will he look like Evie? She was such a miniature version of Chris when she was born. Will this little one look more like me? And what will his personality be like? Will he be laid-back, the opposite of his big sister?

With less than nine weeks until my due date, we have a lot to do. The new "nursery" is still our guest bedroom/junk room. The carpet guys are coming to measure this Saturday, then we need to paint, decorate, and put up the crib. We'll have to replace some of our "pink" baby essentials. We have to stock up on diapers. We need to take a trip to Babies 'R Us to remember all the "must haves" for infants. We have to buy a crib mattress. I should look up refresher information in the books about labor and delivery and breastfeeding.

But most of the time, I'm dreaming. Dreaming about what it will be like to have a new baby in the house again. Dreaming about his soft skin and the smell of his hair. Dreaming about watching my first miracle baby grow into a big sister. About chubby little thighs and half-sleeping cuddles while nursing him in the middle of the night. About singing lullabies and dressing him in BOY CLOTHES and watching him sleep in my arms.

Don't wake me...

Wordless Wednesday - A Crown for the Princess

2009-09-02T08:31:00.001-05:00

Bahamas

2009-08-30T08:49:00.002-05:00

All three of us were just sitting around the table eating cereal for breakfast. I was thinking about how big Evie is, able to use a spoon to feed herself. No spilling of milk, no crying because she can't get the cereal on the spoon.

And then Evie said "Let's go the the Bahamas. I'll take my bikini and my noodle for the water."

Where does she learn these things? She's two years old...

For the record, I voted to take the trip. Apparently, Chris is the realist in our house and won't take us to the tropics.

Ooga! Ooga!

2009-08-28T18:34:00.002-05:00

Evie has an imaginary friend.

Her name is Ooga. Ooga lives in a house in our backyard. Her daddy goes to work during the day, while her mommy stays home with her. Ooga eats bacon all day. She was in the hospital earlier this week, but now she is home and she feels better. Ooga sleeps in her own bed all night long. She drives a car to the store to buy green beans. Evie used her own imaginary money to pay for Ooga at the Chinese buffet last weekend. Sometimes, Ooga and her family show up at our house and Evie makes me hug them. At church, Ooga gets blessings from Jesus. She can fake burp, without having to take a drink of water first. And she never has to take a nap during the day.

Although it's sometimes a little freaky to hug the air, the imagination that's blossoming in my child is fascinating.

Wordless Wednesday - Evie & Aunt Martha

2009-08-26T10:02:00.002-05:00

Dead Worms

2009-08-25T14:36:00.002-05:00

Evie talks A LOT in the morning. It's like a little gift each day, just waiting to hear what's going to come out of her mouth. When she woke up this morning, Evie grabbed her pink pillow and Shamu stuffed animal and crawled up into our bed. I kissed her and pulled her close to me.

And she said "You're so nice. You're so comfy-cozy. Sometimes you yell, but that's okay. You're so nice. Your mouth is so red and your eyes are so colorful. You're better than dead worms."

Uh, what? Dead worms?

Me: I'm better than worms?
Evie: DEAD worms.
Me: I'm better than dead worms?
Evie: Yes!

I laughed. I kissed her. Then we got up and started our day.

But if I could rewind time, I would have treasured the moment a little more. I would have said this to her:

Evie, you're better than dead worms, too. You're better than walking along the beach, looking for sea glass. You're better than chocolate and lemon bars and good wine and cotton candy and spicy tuna sushi rolls. You're better than finding a $20 bill you didn't know about in an old pair of jeans. You're better than a nice, unexpected letter in the mail. You're better than roses on Valentine's Day. You're better than the new-car smell in our minivan. You're better than the feeling I had when I saw the Eiffel Tower or the Grand Canal in Venice for the first time. You're better than a rainbow after a storm. You're better than my treasured KitchenAid mixer. You're better than cold lemonade on a hot day. You're better than feeling the sun on my skin and the sand on my toes. You're better than finding the perfect words for a blog post. You're better than the first crocus of the spring, better than the first snowflake, better than the bright red maple in my grandma's front yard. You're better than the kiss of a puppy. You're better than all the diamonds I own. You're better than I ever, ever expected.

I love you, my darling girl.

On a side note, congratulations to Jenn from The Britton Family! She won my Disney on Ice ticket giveaway. I'm sure the show will be better than dead worms!

Disney on Ice Contest & Coupon Code

2009-08-21T08:07:00.002-05:00

Disney on Ice is presenting 100 Years of Magic here in St. Louis! And we will be attending the show on opening night! Evie loves all things Disney, especially the Disney Princesses and Disney Bingo, so I know this night will be special. We've watched a few trailers for the show online, and she is completely excited. Evie smiles and claps and yells for each character by name. I can't wait!

And even better, our tickets are free. That's right - gratis, no charge, keep your wallet in your pocket. But don't be jealous. I'm not leaving you out!

I have a 4-pack of tickets to give away to the opening night (Thursday, September 3) show at the Family Arena! Simply leave a comment on this post telling me your favorite Disney character. Be sure I have your email address! In honor of Cinderella, this contest ends at midnight on Monday, August 24th. I'll announce the random winner on Tuesday.

Since I'll only have one winner, I also want to pass along a special offer for those of you who don't win. You can purchase a 4-pack of tickets for only $44 for weekday shows or receive $4 off weekend tickets by logging onto http://www.metrotix.com and entering the coupon code MOM.

St. Louis Show Dates:
Thursday, September 3 @ 7:00 PM
Friday, September 4 @ 7:00 PM
Saturday, September 5 @ 11:30 AM, 3:30 PM, & 7:00 PM
Sunday, September 6 @ 1:00 PM & 5:00 PM

I hope to see you at the show!

Psst... Over Here

2009-08-19T08:14:00.003-05:00

One of my previous blog posts is featured on Mamapedia Voices today. If you have a second, pop over and leave a comment to help get the discussion going.

And if you've visiting from Mamapedia, welcome to Oakbriar Farm! My mom has finished her scheduled treatments, and will hopefully hear in a few weeks that she's cancer free. You can read how we felt on her last day of treatment here.

When I was Blond - For Nell

2009-08-18T21:34:00.001-05:00

Remember the Time

2009-08-17T16:39:00.004-05:00

Evie and Chris were just playing - roughhousing around. Chris threw her in the air, swung her around, tickled her, played Hide and Seek. They laughed hysterically as her hair flew all around her face. She kept yelling "More! Again!" I took a picture in my heart, to try to remember this intense happiness.

And then they collapsed in a heap on the floor. Evie looked over at Chris and said "I just don't know what to do with you, Father."

Just a regular day, but full of regular joy and fun. I don't want to forget a minute...

Special Treat

2009-08-13T08:44:00.000-05:00

The other day, I asked Evie to help me fold the laundry. We usually watch TV while we fold, but she had already seen a couple of shows that morning. This is how our conversation went:

Evie: We can watch Yo Gabba Gabba?
Me: No, you've watched enough television today.
Evie: Please?
Me: No, too much TV isn't good for you. Let's listen to music instead.
Evie: I don't want music. Let's watch Yo Gabba Gabba!
Me: No.
Evie: Please?
Me: No. I'm not discussing it anymore.
Evie: If you let me, I'll give you a special treat! I have one in my purse...

I guess that answers the question about whether or not I bribe her too much.

Oh, and for the record, we did not watch more television! But I did giggle. A lot.

Wordless Wednesday - New Haircut

2009-08-12T21:42:00.002-05:00

God as a Hall Monitor

2009-08-10T16:30:00.002-05:00

Evie is becoming the hall monitor in our house. She's learning the rules, and she expects us all to follow them. If you don't, she'll tell you. You are not immune to her scrutiny, even if you are a neighbor, a random lady at the movies, or our Pastor at church.

This is what a typical day sounds like:

Put both hands on the steering wheel! You could get hurt.

Don't say "Hate," say "I don't like it," or "I don't care for it."

Be careful with scissors. Yo Gabba Gabba! says "Don't run with scissors!"

Don't say "Shoot."

Be careful in the street. There's danger!

Make sure you recycle those cans.

Save some of those tomatoes for Daddy. You have to share.

Be careful going down the stairs! You could fall!

Don't get that hot. You could get burned like Pinocchio got burned.

For Evie, everything is black or white. There are rules to follow, and you better not mess up. She's right, too - you should always keep both hands on the steering wheel, you should never say hate, you should share, you should recycle to take care of our planet. She gets so upset when I break one of these rules.

And then when I was falling asleep the other night, I remembered the Old Testament Challenge I participated in a few years ago. In one discussion, I said "I just don't get it! God tells them the rules and they break the rules. Then He tells them again, and they break them again. What's wrong with these people?" A smile played at the corner of my friend Ryan's mouth as he said "Kind of like now? Things haven't changed."

Whoa.

This is what I used to think being a Christian was all about - following a million rules. God tells you what to do, and you should do it. And those rule-breakers had better watch out! But I could never follow them all myself. While I judged others for what they did wrong, I had an even harder time letting go of my own baggage.

Being a parent has taught me that being a Christian is all about love. I don't love Evie any less when she misbehaves. When she's scared or troubled, even about something trivial, I don't shrug her off; in these moments I hold her closer and comfort her. The rules we have in our home are to keep her safe, not some kind of checklist to earn our love.

And so again, I'm thankful for the amazing love of my perfect Heavenly Father. Because He sent Jesus to take the punishment I rightly deserve, God doesn't keep track of my missteps. He's already let go of the baggage I hang on to. He's not paying attention to the rules, He just loves me.

As much as I love her, I'm glad Evie's not in charge of Eternity!

Days of the Week Song

2009-08-07T21:28:00.000-05:00

Evie is so interested in the days of the week. She always asks "What's today's name?" I tell her, and she responds "What's the next day?"

She also likes to know our schedule. "Thursday we are going to gymnastics, Friday we're going to the pool, Saturday is Baby Nora's baptism..."

I found this little song, which has helped her learn the days of the week and the order in which they fall. She's been having fun singing it lately!

To the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, too.
Wednesday, Thursday, just for you.
Friday, Saturday, that's the end.
Now let's sing those days again:
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday!

Wordless Wednesday - New Goggles

2009-08-05T07:58:00.002-05:00

Betty Crocker Cookies & Bars

2009-08-04T21:29:00.003-05:00

Oh, did I get something fun in the mail!

Although it's still the thick of summer, and I am on a break from the oven, I was very excited to receive the Betty Crocker Most Requested Recipes Cookies & Bars collection. Each of the 116 recipes includes a photo, so Evie and I immediately poured through the pages.

Here's what we have on our list:
Lemon Squares
Caribbean Lime Coolers
Buckeye Delights (for Chris)
Sour Cream Cranberry Bars
Funny Face Cookies
Bear Cookie Pops

There's also a Cookie of the Month section with cute seasonal ideas for every month.

I haven't gained much weight this pregnancy, but I can tell that's about to change. Bring on the baking!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

I Have Problems

2009-08-03T19:01:00.000-05:00

The other day, my mom and Evie and I were driving to the pool. From the back seat, Evie piped up and said "I have problems!" My mom's eyes widened and she whispered "She did not just say that!" Laughing, I asked Evie "What kind of problems do you have?" And she replied "I have sleeping problems."

So. Very. True.

If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know sleep is a constant struggle in our house. We have good times and bad times - the last several months have been bad. If Evie even makes it into her own bed, she is often in ours by eleven o'clock.

That's not the worst part, though. Falling asleep is hard for me right now. This baby boy likes to do gymnastics in my tummy right when it's time for bed. Sometimes he kicks so hard that I gasp out loud! Plus, I can't sleep on my back or my stomach. Sleeping on my right side makes my hip fall asleep.

So I finally fall asleep, and Evie kicks me in the face. Or she wiggles around and moves so much that it feels like there's a wild animal in our bed. Kick, kick, kick... I decided last week that she has to get out of our bed. I can't do it anymore. All my theories about co-sleeping went out the window. Simply put, I need sleep.

My friend Karen suggested I put a sleeping bag next to our bed for Evie. I dug out this little napping mat from in the basement, and set it up in my room. Evie was thrilled! She insisted on taking her nap there, and slept there happily for three nights.

Here's my secret, though: I have problems, too. I wake up a million times each night to look at her. It's all I can do to leave her there on the floor; I can hardly stand having her so close, yet so far. I want to pick her up and snuggle her next to me. I could do it - just lift her in my arms and put her next to me, where she belongs. But I don't. Remember, I need sleep. So instead of bringing her into our bed, I toss and turn all night, missing her.

Last night Evie slept in her own bed all night. The little sleeping bag was empty until dawn. I snuck into her room twice to check on her - she was sleeping peacefully. My beautiful princess Sleeping Beauty. Oh, we praised her this morning! And she says she's ready to do it again tonight.

I know from experience that this might not last. She'll be in her bed for awhile, then want to be with us again. For some reason, this time is harder, though. What if she really stays in her room now? What if I really get my wish, and she grows up, moves a little closer towards independence?

And here is the paradox of motherhood, yet again. I'm raising my child to be independent, self-sufficient - celebrating each tiny step towards autonomy. But somewhere in my heart, I grieve every time she slips a little further from me. It's thrilling and heartbreaking, all at once.

But maybe I just need some sleep.

Singin' in the Rain

2009-07-30T17:00:00.003-05:00

Late Wednesday afternoon, Evie danced in the rain.

We had just returned home from my mom's last scheduled cancer treatment. The sky darkened and the wind picked up. And a cleansing rain blew in. I don't normally do this (I never have, in fact,) but I asked Evie if she wanted to play outside in the rain.

My mom and I stood in the garage, and outside Evie began to sing and dance and run. She yelled "I LOVE this rain!" She opened her mouth to catch the drops on her tongue. Her hair dripped and her face was shiny from the water.

The storm took away the thick humidity that had been hanging around. It brought a sweet, cool breeze. This rainy day didn't bring me down; it cleared out my soul as I breathed in this new air. My mom's last cancer treatment.

At the hospital, everyone told me what an amazing woman my mom is. They were impressed by her positive attitude, by her thankful outlook on the treatment. I talked to my mom about this as we drove away from the cancer center, and she said "I knew I was lucky. I knew I wasn't going to die." Her face broke into a grateful smile.

We stood outside for a long time watching Evie. And I joined in when my mom started singing:

I'm singin' in the rain
Just singin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again

Wordless Wednesday - Uncle Zac & Evie

2009-07-29T09:32:00.003-05:00

Cream Cheese Fruit Dip

2009-07-28T13:13:00.002-05:00

Recently, Chris told me he had to bring something for a potluck the next day. It was hot, and you all know how I feel about cooking in this weather. And, of course, I didn't know about it until the last minute. Since I am a "homemaker" now, I felt like I had to send him with something more than a bag of chips...

Cream Cheese Fruit Dip
1 package cream cheese, softened
3/4 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. white sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Mix together all ingredients. It may seem lumpy at first, but keep stirring! Serve with fresh sliced apples, pineapple cubes, and strawberries.

I wish I had some of this now! Enjoy!

Lisa hosts Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays over at Blessed with Grace. Visit her for more yummy recipes!

Thirty Months

2009-07-27T18:55:00.006-05:00

Sweet Evie,

Obviously, I've missed a few letters. And I almost let this one slip by, too. I feel like I have to write this so well that I make up for the other two. It puts a lot of pressure on me to be a great writer, when really I'm just a tired mom. But here I go...

You have grown so much! You were stretched out in our bed the other night (yep, you're back in our bed) and we just stared at you. You looked so long! You're still slender and petite, but getting tall. And you've definitely had a growth spurt recently. You were in your bikini, and I noticed a tiny belly pooching out.

But it's not just your size that's changed. You're growing up in other ways. Your speech continues to amaze me. Today you said "I don't want to wear that cover-up. Put it in your swim bag and I can wear it after I swim, if I want." Such a complicated thought and sentence for a little girl your age! You tattled on Aunt Rachel yesterday. "Aunt Rachel took me on our date, and we forgot to close the garage. So we had to go back and close it." You also correct us "Don't say you hate it, say you don't care for it." We really can't get anything by you!

You still love candy, but I think pickles are your favorite food. You also like pizza, and routinely ask Daddy to take us out for sushi. Mostly, you insist I give you something "tasty and delicious." Which is hard, because you don't really elaborate. I ask "How about pancakes? Bacon? Scrambled eggs?" You answer "No, something tasty!"

Right now, I hear you begging Daddy to play a game. You love to play games - your favorites are Hi Ho Cherry Oh, Candy Land, and Disney Bingo. You could play Bingo for hours. You even watch our cards, to make sure we're not missing anything.

Oh, and you want to get married! First, you insisted you were going to marry me. Then Daddy. Then Uncle Zac. After we explained you had to marry a boy (who was not a relative) you decided to marry Nick. You tell us that you are going to marry Nick, and Andrew will stand behind you, and then you will marry Andrew. And these boys are going to give you a ring on the Eiffel Tower, just like Daddy did with me.

Another big thing that's happened is you are now potty trained! When GaGa was in the hospital, Heather came to visit and we had a short conversation about potty training. Basically, I said you weren't really interested, but I wasn't concerned because you are so young. The next day, you announced "I'm potty training!" We bought new big-girl underwear and you've gone more than six weeks without a single accident. So I am going to be a lucky mom who manages to escape having two kids in diapers at the same time. Thank you, Sweetie!

Since we've spent so much time at the hospital with GaGa, you've decided to become a doctor. You know about radiation and chemo and whether we're in the Cancer Center or the Heart Hospital. You've accumulated scrubs and a doctor's kit, and you love to pretend to help GaGa. You take her temperature and listen to her heart and give her bandages and pretend shots. Sometimes the nurses let you help for real, and more than once, you've insisted that you can start her IV. Maybe in twenty years or so...

You are going to be such a great big sister. You want to feed your brother, and change his diapers and hold him. Sometimes you tell us he wants to come out so you can "cuddle him up!" I know you will love him, and will be a big help to me when he comes.

For now, I'm enjoying having this time together, just us. In a few months, our family will be bigger. I know I'll love it, but I really treasure this time alone with my precious girl. Our conversations and cuddles and playtime...

You continue to amaze me every single day, and I just thank God for you. I love you with all my heart.

Love, Mommy

Wordless Wednesday - The Past Few Weeks

2009-07-23T18:07:00.003-05:00

Wordless Wednesday - Peace

2009-07-01T21:17:00.000-05:00

Look Good...Feel Better

2009-06-26T21:58:00.002-05:00

Right now, cancer treatment is at the forefront of my mind. So Mom Central couldn't have picked a better time to tell me about the Look Good...Feel Better program.

Look Good…Feel Better is a collaboration of the Personal Care Products Council Foundation, the American Cancer Society, Inc. and the National Cosmetology Association. This free, national public service program helps women cope with the appearance-related changes of cancer treatment through workshops across the country, self-help materials, and other free information.

Along with the confusion and fear of a cancer diagnosis comes cancer treatment, which often involves hair loss and other appearance-related changes. My mom said today that it's not her cancer that's hard to deal with - it's all the side effects that come with her treatment.

In honor of its 20th anniversary, Look Good…Feel Better is asking women cancer survivors to submit their stories of how the program helped them cope with cancer as a way to inspire others who may currently be undergoing cancer treatment. Entries will be featured on the Women of Hope is Beautiful blog to help educate others. In August, Look Good…Feel Better will choose five women with the most-compelling stories to receive a trip to New York City for a makeover and a trip to the DreamBall, a black-tie gala and the program's largest annual fundraiser, held each year in New York City.

Anyone can visit the site to view entries, make comments and show their support.

If you know anyone undergoing cancer treatment, or cancer survivors who can help inspire others, please tell this about this amazing resource.